It's all hidden.

I'm livin' and breathin' fashion..

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 7:53 AM .

A random thought of thoughtlessness..

today:
My sleep schedule is so fucked up...
Maybe if I try hard enough, I can like readjust it through sheer willpower
or maybe I'll just fuck it up worse.
take your pick.

yesterday:
( gasp )
It's raining real hard..
The weathers been not-so-good for my week.
I had to stay indoors because of this..

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Q&A
Went to a carnival with a bunch of freak show. Now tell me how are you supposed to enjoy the show with uninvited guests? Fat chance.

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To whom it may concern,
stop messing with my PC, for christ's sake
I can't upload my pics due to this..
xoxo toni
P.S. Sarcasm kills

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I'm surprised by the number of FHM mags. The owner? My booey. *sigh*

and here's his new pair of shoes.. heh

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I'm currently listening to

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 3:10 AM .

~A fine piece of jar torn into pieces.
No use to pick up it's broken parts,
Now seated in this dusty four corners
All left is a memory
that it has been once well admired. -- anonymous~

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 6:40 AM .

Like wet pant bottoms

On my way home yesterday, a tall british woman said i look like Mishka Adams.. The other day, a friend told me i have a resemblance with Elisha Cuthbert con Charlize Theron. heh

Well, i see.

I'm not really good at compliments. I blush most of the time. And i think that sometimes people don't really mean what they say. You know, just for the heck of it. Or maybe i'm losing self esteem. That i don't know.

Times like this, it makes me wonder. Do we really need compliments? How about criticisms? Can you smell the thin line between sarcasm and truth? e.g When people say 'Hey you look good in blue?' Would that mean you ONLY look good when you wear blue?. How about when an officemate noticed your pleated skirt and said you looked like a college drop out. Would that mean you looked years younger or just pure sarcasm? Who knows?

Define mendacious.

I know one person who wanna play 'truth or sarcasm' game with me eh. Fine. I'm a give ya dose of yer own medicine. D'ya hear that you mother f**ka?!!

The great enemies of intellectual life are superstition, gullibility, and fallacious reasoning. --Edward O. Sisson

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Cute eh?

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 4:26 AM .

I'm pretty excited to what comes next..

Sleeveless are out! -- For pete's sake! Look outside.. it's raining hard. That's when turtle necks and sweatshirts takes the scene.Ive found this great online shopping website with lots of cool stuff designed for men and women.
Show me more Sweatshirts!

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1. I am very much dissapointed to see my gold fish dying.
2. I had to say buh-bye to a fave pair of shoes.

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Yesterday, i had to wash Latishae's hair. ( Latishae: one of my porcelain dolls ). I am also thinking to buy her a new dress. I'm actually tired of seeing these dolls wearing same clothes everytime. Well, you prolly be thinking i'm such a weirdo, but i guess that's just how attached i am to my belongings.

So here's Latishae..

Later that eve, i was talking to Aunt Fannie. She said she's visitin' on Sunday and that she'd tag along Cola ( a 5 y.o shitzu ). I got so excited to see Cola and have Oreo ( my dog ) to be 'reunited' with her.

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When you're a preteen and reading a book, and you come across "fuck" for the first time in printed word, it's such an exhilarating experience. Such a fresh idea that you're allowed to swear in books.Even though people have been doing it for years, you never knew you could say "fuck" in a book until 2001, or however old you were when you first read something like that.

* It's ok 'lil Jerome, that's just how it is.. *

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 5:04 AM .

I'm only happy when it rains..

Contrary to mom's belief, i simply love being home, enjoyin' the smell of my pillows and the comfort it gives, i love watching the rain from outside the window and watching kids dancin' to it. The pitter-patter of rain diagonally ramming into my windows was typical of my mornings lately.

Here's the view from outside the house.. Must dash - it's lovely outside.

When it rains i get to..

1. watch movies... more movies..
2. sleep all day
3. cuddle with my dogs
4. eat champorado
5. Play with my camera
6. Watch TV shows for the day

Disclaimer:
You know that i love oprah, so when i criticize her it is with the utmost love,
BUT ... Dear Lord, she rarely has subjects with the capacity to tell stories about her guests and she ruined it-- absolutely ruined it. The interview was mush and i was sad to have this precious moments on the observation pedestal wasted talking circles about the same questions for forty minutes.

Last night, my boy and i played SCRABBLE. Ghaaa-aad It's been years. And guess who have won? Well..

* i love you babe, but there's just no way for you to win the game.. haha *

I'm so into Fashion these past few days.. I find LONDON Fashion real cool. Well, minus the leg warmer ( eeeeeww ).. It's so so me..

But, i miss parading my sunglasses though. tsk.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 6:01 AM .

My babies are here..

Hey mama, don't i look like hungry to you?

What about 'lil Rocky eh?

Last but not the least, Ol Blackie..

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 9:53 AM .

I am not myself lately, can you tell?

I've been getting in some awful moods despite the lovely time that i've been having. Rumbling hearts & hedged-in thoughts & an aching feeling of being transitional, temperamental, & alltogether unneccessary. Loneliness mixed with nothing to be lonely about. Wanderlust is fine when you have somewhere to wander from.

Then I realized i need a pretty tough guy to have me as a significant partner. To date: I freak out about something that doesn't needs a freak out or i get to have my tantrums over some 'lil petty things every now and then. Which is unhealthy. These are the times that I admire my boy for putting up some effort with me.

Saturday: Went to a spa ( despite of the rain ) with mum and had some relaxing massage and my fave sea salt scrub. I was supposed to meet up with a friend but i passed out early so i wasn't able to make it. :0
Sunday: Watched 'The Nun' and freaked out. Made some eerie noises to scare my bro later that evening. haha

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I was talking to Juvy the other day and she was like convincing me to have a Life Insurance as early as now. The idea made me thought of the movie 'Life or Something like it' ( Angelina Jolie ) and in one of the scenes there was this line..

' Always treat every day of your life as your last, for one of these days.. it will be. '

At first, the idea of having a life insurance scared the shit out of me, i was like... ' Hey Juvy, are you having a premonition or something? ' but what the heck i've realized it's better to be prepared if you really care for the people around you. You may not wanna worry them when that 'time' comes. So just before that day ends, i said ' Juvy, Let's do it.'

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I just finished reading the book by Brian Weiss entitled ' Many Lives, Many Masters'. This one's a good read. It talks about one's belief to past life therapy and the so called 'reincarnation', that if you lived your life in a 'good way' then most likely you are to have an enriched life in the future. As to the Hindu or Buddhist doctrine that person may be reborn successively into one of five classes of living beings ( god or human or animal or hungry ghost or denizen of hell ) depending on the person's own actions with his past life or to simply put 'the laws of karma'.
I remember my Lola saying she was an Egyptian Princess who lived a good life that's why she is now living a very satisying one. And that she considers all of us as a result of a good Karma. Uumm well said, Lola. :0

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If i die now and face God, I'll suggest that if he'll reincarnate Vicky Belo and Pie Calayan better give them the same profession and have me as one of their daughters.. tee-hee

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 6:17 AM .

'Happiness is simply a longing for repetition' -- Milan Kundera

I lurve Isha's new album, Time and Again ( adult contemporary / pop ). Martha gave me this album as a gift. ( Ghaaa-aaad! I wish she knew how much i loved it ) Anyhow, i've realized that people can't really satisfy their hunger for happiness. Like a craving or addiction, a vehement desire that keeps on haunting us even more..

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I'd like to share this song by Sheryl Crow with Sarah Mclachlan...
I am also posting the lyrics, so there.. Enjoy.

Difficult Kind

I think I was wrong
I think you were right
All my angry words
Will keep me up at night
Through the old screen door
I still hear you say
Honey won't you stop
Treating me that way
If you could only see
What love has made of me
Then I'd no longer be in your mind
The difficult kind
Cause babe I've changed

Tell it to me slow
Tell me with your eyes
If anyone should know
How to let it slide
I swear I can see you
Coming up the drive
There ain't nothing like regret
To remind you you're alive
If you could only see
What love has made of me
Then I'd no longer be in your mind
The difficult kind
Cause babe I've changed

I crossed the canyon a thousand times
But never noticed what was mine
What you'll remember of me tonight
Well, it almost makes me cry
Yeah, it almost makes me cry
Oh ballbreaking moon and ridiculing stars
The older I get, the closer you are
Don't you have somewhere that you need to be
Instead of hanging here making a fool of me

If you could only see
What love has made of me
Then I'd no longer be in your mind
The difficult kind
But you won't see the change in me
If you could only see
What love has made of me
But I'll forever be in your mind
The difficult kind
But you won't see, no you won't see
The good in me
But babe I've changed
Cause babe I've changed

To hear the song Click Here.

* *

It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 3:54 AM .

The ship's headed to the right direction

I am quite pleased with how things are goin'. I have a tremendous circle of friends. I have an enormous job and a soaring love life. These are some of the many reasons why i jump for joy whenever i wake up.

More so,

I went to a facial Salon the other day. I felt the need for it. It has been awhile since i paid attention to how i look. ( like i care less ). Would you believe i was even itching to have an eyelash extension ( y' know the curly long lashes can do wonders ) Had my nails done and a relaxing foot spa.

Bdw, I visited Martha's office yesterday to see her beloved-- a lobster named.. fuck. i forgot. And, i found this in the ladies'..

'You found a job but you can't find a flush lever?' Great!

Today:
1. It took me like 2 hours to eat a bar of chocolate.
2. I'd like to walk around naked.
3. I haven't apologized to god yet.

I just received a text message from Precious S. She's in the hospital right now due to high fever. I'm a go visit her after work. She was like ' Hey sis, could you pls visit me here?' and i was like 'yeah sure.' I guess she is just bored. haha Love you, Cious. Get well soon! I'm a bounce my ass over there, ayt?! :0

Meanwhile,

Pearly will be here anytime soon. She's flying her way to Manila ( can't say i'm too excited for that wanna know why? 'coz she's a biatch. heh ) Then we'd all be ready for Puerto. Yipeeeee. For sure, on our way there the three of us will be singing 'My Favorite Mistake' and curse ourselves for continuously doing so. haha I miss my tanning buddies... xoxo

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 6:18 AM .

I have this song stuck in my head right now.

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard
But you're not allowed
You're Uninvited
An unfortunate slight

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I thought of sharing this quote from a good ol friend o' mine...

'be very careful if you make a woman cry because god counts her tears. the woman came out of a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior of but from the side to be equal with. under the arm to be protected for and next to the heart to be loved.'

So There. Martha, are you readin'? :)

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 9:28 AM .

Welcome to Toni-Banana's New Haven

For my old entries pls click HERE.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 6:32 AM .