It's all hidden.

Some of us may think that life is a fairy tale.
Magical. vivid.
We believe in happy endings..

That one day a knight in shining armor would show up in his stallion and save you from the wicked witch.
That when a frog receives a Princess's true loves kiss, he'd suddenly turn into a prince charming.

But fairy tale happens only in one poor childs dream world. Where life is so sweet like chocolates and candy bars.

As we go thru life, past your adolescent stage, as every heartbreak you take, you realize that theres more to life that just "happily ever after" and that stupid boyfriend you have is a frog and no matter how many kisses he receives in a day, you cant just turn him into a prince charming... he'll be a frog! forever.
and no fairy to turn to and ask for the glass shoe to fit and just be the plain prettiest girl at the ball to catch the prince.

We tend to learn that we get wiser each day and that theres no fairy god mother to save us from misery and lead us to a happy ending...

We decide. We struggle and somehow we begin to understand that we have the power to make each day a better day.

The power that doesnt come from a magic wand..
Its the power that comes within us.
Our inner strength.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 7:25 PM .

**why is it so hard to be happy?
it is because we refuse to let go of the things that makes us sad.

**Lovin someone so desperately is like holdin on to a piece of broken glass,
not wantin to give up yet your hands feel the pain and when you finally learn to let go
youre free from pain but your hands are empty and bleeding...

**LOVE RULES:

1.Hold on but know when to let go.
2. wait but be sure theres really someone worth the wait.
3. Dream but know when to wake up, if your partner doesnt love you.. go! move on..
It's okay to fall but know how to get up!

**its hard to smile when everything inside you tell you to cry.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 7:16 PM .

depression.

that simple word has taken over me, over my whole body, i can just feel it. i can feel the tears stinging my eyes. i can feel my cheeks wet. and i can feel my two eyes turning red.

depression.

do any of us know why that feeling ever just comes out of nowhere and hurts us pretty badly?

maybe its because youre just hiding from the world and are afraid of showing what you have got for it.

depression.

one word that everybody suffers from, a word i'm suffering from. how can i get rid of it? only time can tell. you know there is this saying where they say "time heals everything" but you know what? time has done nothing, it does practically nothing then make the situation worse. i wish it would go away already. but it just won't. i can't shake this feeling that everythings gonna get worse. i can't shake this feeling that its never gonna get better for me. because i see my friends get better but why dont i? why can't time just heal me for once? i'm starting to hate life all over again, i'm supposed to get past that, i'm supposed to remember that life is just life. nothing too hard.

You should probably go away, and leave me alone, because i dont wanna infect anybody and let depression take over them too, i'd rather live by myself than have anybody having to live with that feeling, because that feeling sucks big time and its pretty hard to let go of...

-sigh-

i'm talking crazy again. but i'm not. i dont know what i'm doing right now. i have all these mixed up emotions right now and its pretty damn confusing.

seriously? i'm not okay.

Chellie, im not okay.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 5:42 PM .

a perfect life

Did you ever make a really huge mistake in your life and actually learnt from it, but after years of forgetting that mistake, in some point of another you have to endure the pain again by having peeps around remindin' you of the mistake you've done over and over? isn't kinda shitty?

I love my life, in fact its great. Its just if i could just go back, and change some stuff i'm not happy about. My life would just be perfect.

P-E-R-F-E-C-T.

period.

**Sometimes the hardest things & the right things are the same - the fray**

Do you know that the hardest thing and the right things are all the same, which is the truth.
Isn't the word 'truth' the hardest, i mean as what people like to say "the truth is hard" but at the same time its just the right thing to do and just say it. You guys might understand it differently, but to whats going on right now in my life. i understood the truth.

Maybe it means its pretty damn hard but you just have to accept it. I don't know should i? You guys are totally lost aren't you?

-sigh-

If only i could tell you guys everything, but yet i don't want to because i'm too afraid of the people who are reading.

wtf?

**how am i suppose to live the last day of my life?

Seriously? I never thought of how i'd spend the last day of my life because you know what? I won't know when that day will come. No one ever knows right? Nobody just thinks and goes like "omg, i'm gonna die tomorrow or the day after" because in reality, people just don't even think of death for one second. And while your living your life, all of the sudden out of nowhere death slowly comes and creeps up behind you and steals everything you had going on in this world and just ends it...just like that. Like when your feeling ill, you think you'll get better soon but thats just a lie. or when youre walking down the street ready to hit the next mall by your side when all of the sudden a hit and run happens. Okay i mean, you ending up in the emergency room without knowing who hit you. You would end up in a coma and then just die...hmm..did i say too much? yep, okay thats maybe one real sad story but i just added the die part to make my point.

back to my answer.

Say for example, the world is about to end, how would i spend my last day?
hmm... honestly, this answer maybe one of the stupidest answers you guys have ever read, but i don't really care. I just want to live my last day with smiles and the feeling of happiness surrounding me. Because, this world is just full of drama, you know what i mean? I just want that one day to be drama-free, tear-free and fear-free. you know like when your driving your car, cruising around, the wind swinging your hair back and forth, the music is blasting through the stereo car and your just shouting out the lyrics really loudly while all you can do is smile and feel that great feeling that never comes up to anybody but rarely and not really caring about the world for just those three minutes of the song, just those three minutes of life? Okay maybe never comes up to me but rarely. I don't know about you guys though,

-sigh-

I want to feel that feeling now even though today might not be the last day i'll ever live. I wish i could feel that feeling everyday.

todays sentence is: you are pretty damn strong to be fighting everything that comes in your way.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 5:14 PM .

hey! i'm just being me..

it really doesnt matter what other people think and say..i dont live to please them.. nor required to..what matters is, i've made the most of what i have, i had fun, i learned from the mistakes ive done and lived through it all despite all the gossips, trash talks and intrigues..

For me that's being real..
Lovin' a life fearless of other people's shadow..
So why continually care about people who condemns me from what they hear or see?
For as long as i know me, i'll just be happy being me..

and they could all die of envy.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 2:36 PM .

For you... yes you.

Pls Read the lyrics carefully and youll know why...

4 in the morning
by Gwen Stefani

Wakin up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had it's say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think,
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I know you're here, in the dark
I'm watchin you sleep, it hurts a lot

And all I know is you've got to give me everything
And nothing as good,
You know I'd give you all of me

I'd give you everything that I am
I'm handin over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the morning
And the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we're gonna do it come and do it right

All I wanted was to know and say
Don't wanna lose the love I found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down

It's not fair, how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your lovin for me
We can't escape the love
With everything that you have

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 2:26 PM .

Ed Roland is a god!

WORLD I KNOW

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in new york city
And I dont know why.

Are we listening to hyms of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that Ive been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down.
cause its the world I know.
Its the world I know

PRECIOUS DECLARATION

Hitched a ride to the peaceful side of town
Then proceeded where thieves were no longer found
Cant crash now Ive been waiting for this
Wont crash now I found some encouragement
Precious declaration reads
Yours is yours and mine you leave alone now
Precious declaration says
I believe all hope is dead no longer

New meanings to the words I feed upon
Wake within my veins elements of freedom
Cant break now Ive been living for this
Wont break now Im cleansed with hopefulness
Precious declaration reads
Yours is yours and mine you leave alone now
Precious declaration says
I believe all hope is dead no longer

Once I jumped thru hoops of fire
As high and far as you required
I was blind but now I see
Salvation has discovered me

A PUBLIC Apology

That last post/rant made me look like I cared about that subject a lot more than I actually do care about it, hahaha. Really, it's not that big of a deal, just annoying... but I was in a terrible mood then and so everything was a big deal

But them again, i apologize for the words and all that. heh.

***

bored ;___;
my mood : determined

I need something to do. Something fun and adventurous. I hate not doing anything anymore how sucktaclular! Im going to be an adult soon and what have i accomplished in life so far that was beyond ordinary? I dont like being ordinary! i want to be free explore, laugh and live life. Okay not more to say but everyone should try to live a little and stop being safe. If youre safe your whole life your going to regret not being a little dangerous!

and yeah i guess in need to say this...

Sooooooooo. This morning sucked. Like ...Big time.

....why cant I just live in a drama free world? I try to make things better for everyone but i wind up fucking it up.....

aaaaah this sucks..

I'm gonna go drown my emotions in cookies.....

again....

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 1:23 PM .

I've said it before, i'll say it a couple times:
Don't hate me because i'm pretty, hate me because you simply can't be me!

yes, I'm going to continue to sporadically update my journal out of annoyance or
did I mention pointlessly update my journal?

And now, obviously, because I'm me, I can't go to sleep because I'm scared there'll be a fire. Yay. *sits and rocks. in the non-musical way*

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 10:36 PM .

I'm Going Home!

Home
by Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Vhaneedozah told you a beauty secret at 10:06 PM .