Vhaneedozah Told You A Beauty Secret

move forward

2011-06-10T17:18:00.002+08:00

then its time to move forward and think positive. i've been losing so much of positive vibes that i tend to attract so much of negativities. a friend of mine told me that i'm the only one making my own problems, thus i attract negative vibes.

its been hard to realize mistakes. that you did it once, recognize it to be a mistake, but commit it again.

tsk. this is another chapter of my life. the one i have to continue fighting with.

goodluck to me.

misinterpretation

2011-05-20T09:46:00.002+08:00

i hate office gossips. something i would never get used to--ever. more so, i hate being misinterpreted. and i hate being paranoid.

General Luna

2011-05-18T11:29:00.002+08:00

i have seen photos of the band General Luna and my first reaction was.. "just another pretty faces trying to make it to the local industry".. days passed and i heard an all girl rock band's (as introduced by the DJ) song on the radio, and i quickly thought "whoa this band can sing" i was all surprised to hear the band's name--- General Luna.

sana dumami pa ang tulad nila. at grabe ang gaganda nila.

2011-01-26T16:41:00.002+08:00

life is filled with fake people!oh gawd,,,, god bless all these suckers!

2010-05-05T15:49:00.003+08:00

another election day. a new set of leaders and would be leaders, ideas, promises. we are just giving all of them the priviledge to use the countrys money for personal gain. election makes them feel outright to govern, corrupt and be famous. yet one could never complain when you yourself arent voting. much so not choosing well between gibo or noynoy for the presidential position. villar doesnt stand a chance even if her mother spoke of her sons innocence to all these controversies being smack unto his face.

anyhooo, whats with this automated election? would it be for better or for worse?

2010-05-01T21:18:00.001+08:00

is writing a letter for my precious unborn child... i may have to read this outloud to you, my baby, when youre finally here.

Your daddy is too excited to hold you and im uberly overwhelmed that there is another life within me (as i gaze myself in front of the mirror now that my 25inch waistline turned 30), that a miracle is coming few months from now, that i will finally get to hear and feel you right in these my arms, where youll be safe-- forever.

ill see you, our great bundle of joy on the 28th of september 2010.

much love,
mommy and daddy

2010-05-01T21:12:00.002+08:00

before i look just like a lady who doesnt hit the gym,who just gained so much fat around the belly area so its hard to believe that im a mom to be. so i dont expect people to offer me special treatment like most pregnant women usually get. now that my belly is proudly potruding i can shout 'hello, world! im pregnant!'
today im left with no choice but to ride an mrt going to my ob.
mrt is like a blockbuster hit all the time. people swarming like ants.
as soon as i step into the train, there was this pretty korean lady (who looks like a big movie star in korea) who offered her seat to me. wow! i have thanked her thousand times that i could have annoyed the mrt peeps who are inside the train with us.
to that korean girl i thank you much!!! godbless.

2010-05-01T21:12:00.001+08:00

2010-05-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

before i look just like a lady who doesnt hit the gym, gaining so much fat around the belly area so its hard to believe that im a mom to be. so i dont expect people to offer me special treatment like most pregnant women usually get. now that my belly is proudly potruding i can shout 'hello, world! im pregnant!'
today im left with no choice but to ride an mrt going to my ob.
mrt is like a blockbuster hit all the time. people swarming like ants.
as soon as i step into the train, there was this pretty korean lady (who looks like a big movie star in korea) who offered her seat to me. wow! i have thanked her thousand times that i could have annoyed the mrt peeps who are inside the train with us.
to that korean girl i thank you much!!! godbless

2010-03-31T20:36:00.002+08:00

Time to make little sacrifices this week. Contemplate and find our purpose on earth.

2010-03-11T11:58:00.004+08:00

oscars

whoa!

i wish miley cyrus and amanda a dressed their age. they're hell too young for what they wore that night. leave it to the oldies, babies.... they should have been funky and playful with their outfits...

meryl streep is a legend.. but i wish she gad dressed better.

george clonney.. wow! hes simply mouth watering! like a watermelon... :P

congrats Sandra B... (havent seen the Blind side though)

and Quentin Tarantino looked like he flushed his fucking head in a toilet!

Whos that girl sitted beside clooney?

Considering i watched "The Hurt Locker" With glenn last night. it won 6 Oscars, how come? Or is it merely overrated?

Hello 2010

2010-03-10T08:54:00.003+08:00

Its been a long time since i have posted something here.

Well i have been busy a lot lately and i have been experiencing a great miracle in my life.

I am 10 weeks pregnant.

Morning sickness sucks.

Nausea and vomitting plays a part of my everyday routine.

But im happy knowing that a great Bundle of joy is coming on september 28th 2010.

im excited.

2009-07-28T00:07:00.000+08:00

I copy-pasted this from Facebook (thanks, Ivan) and thought I'd share it with all of you.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. (Agree.)
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. (Hmm.. I don't think I can do this.)
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. (Peace be with you.)
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. (I love this.)
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. (I'm too pasty now to wear purple, I will look like pasa if I wear it.)
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business. (Korek!)
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. (Play with your kids. They will treasure the fun times they had with you.)
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. (Lumabas kayo, day! Twitter and Facebook will be there when you get back.)
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come. (Aren't you excited?)
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield. (Please.)
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift." That is what the {present} is a gift don't waist today.

On that note, group hug. Or not.

2009-04-29T00:49:00.005+08:00

bought a new bag...

Php 1,555.50

Egypt to search 3 sites for Cleopatra's tomb

2009-04-17T04:57:00.001+08:00

Egypt to search 3 sites for Cleopatra's tomb

CAIRO - Archaeologists will begin excavating sites in Egypt next week in an attempt to solve a mystery that has stymied historians for hundreds of years: Where is the final resting place of doomed lovers Cleopatra and Mark Antony?
ADVERTISEMENT

Archaeologists looking for the tombs of the celebrated queen of Egypt and the Roman general will begin excavating three sites at a temple where tombs may be located, Egypt's Supreme Council of Antiquities said in a statement Wednesday.

Cleopatra and Mark Antony, whose relationship was later immortalized by William Shakespeare and then in a movie with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, could have been buried in a deep shaft in a temple near the Mediterranean Sea, the council said.

Archaeologists last year unearthed the alabaster head of a Cleopatra statue, 22 coins bearing Cleopatra's image and a mask believed to belong to Mark Antony at the temple.

The three sites were identified last month during a radar survey of the temple of Taposiris Magna, the council's statement said. The temple is located near the northern coastal city of Alexandria and was built during the reign of King Ptolemy II (282-246 B.C.)

Teams from Egypt and the Dominican Republic have been excavating the temple for the last three years. They found a number of deep shafts inside the temple, three of which were possibly used for burials. The lovers could be buried in a similar shaft, the statement said.

The lovers committed suicide in 30 B.C. after being defeated in the battle of Actium. Mark Antony is said to have killed himself with his sword, while Cleopatra is believed to have clutched a poisonous asp to her chest.

However, John Baines, an Egyptologist with Oxford University in England questioned why Augustus, who defeated Antony, would have chosen such a distinguished burial place.

"I don't really see why there should be a particular connection between that site and Antony and Cleopatra," Baines said.

Zahi Hawass, Egypt's top archaeologist, said the Cleopatra statue and coins _ which show an attractive face _ debunk a recent theory that the queen was "quite ugly."

"The finds from Taposiris reflect a charm ... and indicate that Cleopatra was in no way unattractive," said Hawass, according to the statement.

Academics at Britain's University of Newcastle concluded in 2007 that the queen was not especially attractive. Their conclusion was based on Cleopatra's depiction on a Roman coin that shows her as a sharp-nosed, thin-lipped woman with a protruding chin.

Excavators at the site near Alexandria have already discovered a large previously unknown cemetery outside the temple enclosure. They have also discovered 27 tombs _ including a total of 10 mummies.

According to the statement, the style of the tombs indicates they were built during the Greco-Roman period. The presence of the cemetery also indicates that an important person _ possibly royalty _ could be buried inside the temple.

2009-04-09T18:26:00.005+08:00

i hear the tick and tock of the clock and then i realized that holy week has been fast approaching.. sooner it'll end.. vacation will be over and everything will be back to normal pace again.... last night was the last duty shift i had to attend to..( before the HW Vacay ) and believe me working in casino could not be that easy... rampant prostitution and gamble-addicted personas come in and out just as is... just like casino wallflowers. but heck.. cant do anything about it... all you can is to stare back and pray the shift ends....

hell yeah....Im back to readin'...

just finished a book entitled GHOSTLY ENCOUNTER, should i say it was a good read. It consumed mostly my break time this weeks shift and i dun regret any of it... instead of eating junk food and mingling with gossip-mongers id rather stay in the comfort room, where its all cozy and sweet and read. Now im almost done with this old book i got from BOOK SALE, i bought it for only P70 whereas its original price was P375.... way too cheap but its a good deal aint it? by the way the books name is HOT STUFF, by New York Times best selling author Janet Evanovich and Leanne Banks; ive gathered some reviews online.. and some DIDNT like it.

The question is.. will i like it? better finish the book first. i wont spill the beans till its all cooked and ready to be served.

wait...

WHO IS THIS NEW GUY?

i know. He's HOT!
names Lee Kholafai... a new model.

ooopsss.... boyfriends been snoopin around my blog.. id better behave... mwah guys!

2009-03-16T02:46:00.001+08:00

im lovin' Depsea Water

shu uemura Depsea Water

“Just as we thirst for water, so too
does the skin yearn for its thirst to be quenched.
Spare nothing taking care of it.
Give it the purest, most luscious water”

- Shu Uemura

shu uemura Depsea water evolution began more than eight years ago when Mr. Shu Uemura began to consider the application of deep-sea water to cosmetics, having heard the “mythical” properties of the water on the skin from common folklore – the soothing properties it has on eczema and the use of the ingredient in food and medicine. This revelation was restated when he discovered the pumping of deep-sea water in Cape Muroto, Japan. Upon touch of the water, Mr. Uemura discovered how gentle, soft and moisturizing the water felt on the skin. He immediately understood the implications it could have in a cosmetic formulation.

Deep-sea water resides far below the ocean surface, where it is naturally stable, purified and enriched with vital minerals. Rarely rising above the lower ocean current in which it circulates, the mineral rich water can be found in the coastal waters off Hawaii, Norway and Japan's Cape Muroto in Kochi Prefecture. In order to explore the potential of deep-sea water in cosmetics, Mr. Shu Uemura founded the Muroto Factory Museum in Kochi Prefecture in 1989, and shu uemura cosmetics became the first company in the world to incorporate deep-sea water into cosmetic products.

Deep-sea water contains more than 60 ocean minerals to boost the natural function of the skin. Trace minerals such as lithium, magnesium, silicon, selenium, copper, zinc and calcium in deep-sea water have a high affinity with human skin and can quickly absorb to rapidly refresh and hydrate skin. Compared to surface sea water, deep-sea water has three superior characteristics:

- PURITY without any deterioration from acid rain or industrial draining
- RICHNESS of minerals and nutrient substance
- STABILITY in low temperature

shu uemura Depsea Water – aka, “water from the depths of the sea” – is taken from the depth of the ocean where sunlight does not reach, at 200 meters. Pumped directly from the location, it is also bottled at the source, where the shu uemura manufacturing facility resides. Completely free of artificial color, natural aromatic extracts are then added to become lightly scented mists that rejuvenate and hydrate the skin, hair and body. It is also a key raw ingredient used in many of shu uemura makeup and skincare products.

2009-03-16T02:41:00.000+08:00

Janie Frickie
You Changed My Life In A Moment

The nights the sky was filled with clouds
My worried mind was filled with fears
I couldn't count all the lonely hours
Spent with memories and tears

I never thought I would see the day
When I could throw all my sorrow away
But then you came and you showed me the way
You have made all those times disappear

You changed my life in a moment
And I'll never be the same again
You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With a touch of your hand
In a moment of time
All my sorrow is gone

I never thought that I could change
Could change so much in so many ways
I'm still surprised when I look in my mirror
To see that I still look the same

You changed my life in a moment
And I'll never be the same again
You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With a touch of your hand
In a moment of time
All my sorrow is gone

You changed my life
I'll never be the same

You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With a touch of your hand
In a moment of time
All my sorrow is gone

2009-03-16T02:39:00.001+08:00

Good bye, Francis M.

'cold summer nights since youve walked out that door...'

2009-03-16T02:26:00.003+08:00

life has taught me few good lessons

i have come to a point to accept the fact that i am not a perfect person, that life isn't perfect and that all shitty things will always come your way.

an ex is a love gone.. forever.

gossips will always HUNT you.

your past is your past... urgh ummm....atleast for you.

some people are happy to see you down.

all eyes are on you when youre hot.

Hongkong style noodle is great!

no-pork policy works for me.

i cannot live without music.

i lost a good girl friend.

i love my mom and brother all the more.

skin bleaching is better than skin peeling.

loving is like bungee jumping.

That an eggplant is as useless as your ex boyfriend.

to trust no one- a general rule......

the greatest enemy is.. yourself.

Glenn Bawar is MINE. all MINE.

2008-11-21T23:12:00.001+08:00

im singin' my heart out to this song.

ONLY YESTERDAY- The Carpenters

After long enough of being alone

Everyone must face their share of loneliness

In my own time nobody knew

The pain I was goin' through

And waitin' was all my heart could do

Hope was all I had until you came

Maybe you can't see how much you mean to me

You were the dawn breaking the night

The promise of morning light

Filling the world surrounding me

When I hold you

Baby, Baby

Feels like maybe things will be all right

Baby, Baby

Your love's made me

Free as a song singin' forever

Only yesterday when I was sad

And I was lonely

You showed me the way to leave

The past and all its tears behind me

Tomorrow may be even brighter than today

Since I threw my sadness away

Only Yesterday

I have found my home here in your arms

Nowhere else on earth I'd really rather be

Life waits for us

Share it with me

The best is about to be

So much is left for us to see

When I hold you

2008-10-30T03:03:00.000+08:00

i love her

2008-10-30T02:26:00.005+08:00

LORD HAVE MERCY UPON MY SOUL

its a major life transition for me. havin to break away from all this crazy madness sets me free.
livin a new life and heading a different direction makes me energetic, cool and all of a sudden i feel life... i feel me... i feel how it is to totally be FREE, for the first time. to be ME.

2008-08-30T13:14:00.005+08:00

ONE cannot just hold a tongue forever whenever you go to some high end make up store especially that of Rustan's and ask about these cosmetics line...

I found this very useful.

Agent Provocateur: ah-jen pro-vock-a-toor
Bourjois: boor-jwah
Caudalie: kow-dah-lee
Chantecaille: shan-teh-kigh
Chanel: sha-nell
Decleor: deh-klay-or
Dr. Hauschka: doctor howsh-kuh
Estee Lauder: ess-tay law-der
Frederic Fekkai: fray-day-reek feh-kigh
Guerlain: goor-lahn
Issey Miyake: ee-say mee-yah-kay
Kevyn Aucoin: kevin oh-kwan
Korres: core-rezz
Lancome: lahn-comb
Laura Mercier: laura mers-yay
L'Occitane: lox-ee-tahn
Nars: nahrs
Natura Bissé: nah-too-ra bees-say
RéVive: ray-veev
Shiseido: she-say-doe
Shu Uemura: shoe oo-eh-moor-ah (if you want to be really authentic, soften the R and make more of a D sound)
Stila: stee-lah
Tocca: toe-kah
Versace: verr-sa-chay
Yves Saint Laurent: eve sahn lorr-ahnn

* http://bellasugar.com/366298

2008-08-26T11:30:00.005+08:00

Cool Graphics

Battling with relationships ups and downs may seem hard. More so, identifying if relationships are worth the while. However, if you perceive it in a positive way, one would know that it contributes to being a better person, and being prepared the next time you are faced with such struggle.

2008-08-26T07:04:00.010+08:00

waiting for red eye

I don't know how to put this in words. I am so weird. There are moments in my day when I'm just deliriously happy, shakin' with unexplainable joy. For no apparent reason, I have the urge to jump up and down and shriek with total happiness. Like that girl in "Love Actually" who, in a private moment, just goes all weird and jumps up and down on the staircase, grinning from ear to ear.

And then there are other times I just want to be melancholy and contemplative. I'll just sit by the window and watch the world go by. It is such a deep place I go to in moments like those, I can't explain expect that is the complete polar opposite to the deliriously happy. And how I move between the two and at what intervals! That is what's so weird. Not even within minutes of each other, I can shift the emotion from one extreme to the other and do so at will!

Is it the actress in me that never took the stage? The writer so familiar with the emotions and thoughts of their imaginary characters? Or the lunatic in me that makes me ill fated and worse a schizo? I should better stop listening to sad songs, it doesn't do me any good.
At some point, i like it, being able to pinpoint an emotion and feel it on command as it drains your whole body energy. There's a certain amount of satisfaction in exploring all of these emotions.

~~

Been up and cryin' the whole night. My pillow could stand a witness to all these sanity. Watchin' the clock tickin'.. as its minuend moves up and down in a very slow annoyin' motion. No use to be in bed, got up and waited for someone with a very seemingly familiar face and a red eye to show up.. the waiting part is the most painful... as no one showed up.

I have to keep all this emotions wrapped up till the cryin' days are over.

Somehow, God must have a plan for both of us and so i should stop from hovering God's will. Acceptance is the key from all this hurt and the 'moving on' part will surely be next. Then i have to start wishin not to have our paths crossed in the coming years, for i may not be over you, yet. But foe sure, i will... in God's own sweet time.

~I have come not to make you love me, but to make you feel you're worth loving... -aug23,'08

2008-08-26T06:29:00.006+08:00

Cool Graphics

I cried a river tonight... enough to drown Mactan

All around me, I see what weakness has made
Too much tomorrow, I think Ill take all today
Am I a poison, am I a thorn in the side
Am I a picture perfect subject tonight

And I dont need nobody
And I dont need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
And I dont need nobody
And I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into

Here I slumber to awaken my daze
I find convenience in this savior I save
Am I a prison, am I a source of dire news
Am I a picture perfect reason for you

In this time of substitute

Its my needs Ive answered to
All the while
And all the hope that I invest
Turns to signals of distress
All the while

Now i cry myself to sleep...

2008-08-26T06:01:00.005+08:00

I fought and struggled until i bleed no more.

Blogging can be therapeutic to some people where one can just scribble down with words and escape from the real world. The world of love and hate. They say money makes the world go round, however, i say emotions make the world go round and round and round until it makes you dizzy and fall. And then you wonder, will there be someone to catch you at all?

At many times, i wish i could just drift away from all this sanity, i have never wanted anything in the world but to break free from all this emptiness inside me. And that hurts. Something inside me feels like exploding and so i cried.

2008-08-20T14:46:00.001+08:00

My friendster ABOUT ME profile page

I am characterized by the image of a creature tough, hardened shell protecting a soft and vulnerable centre. I am unlikely to expose the soft-under belly that borders my vulnerable centre instead I will maintain a sense of detachment and what you will see from the outside is a hardened impenetrable shell that gives no hint of where my true values lie. Im mentally a mixture of toughness and softness to the point of sentimentality in my fantasies. My personal emotions are never entirely unaffected by the joys and pairs of the world.

I'm extremely easy going but im NOT a pushover. Having fun enjoying life as best I can at all times while getting a little dirty in between. Not into double standards. Hate em bad. For me, there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent contradiction in my nature.

I also have my potential faults too, I can be sulky, devious, tactless and difficult yet, because I'm normally ambitious. Lethargy bordering on laziness, volatility, a chaotic and a moodiness that is hard for others to relate to or fully understand. My mood flows in all directions. I can be up one day, down the next. I can be happy and calm one minute and then irratic and emotional the next. A pattern that bears little relation to the experience of external events around me.

I can jump down people's throats for no apparent reason. I can be untidy at the best times and can be lazy but only occasionally.

I make great friends, I get along well with people who are nice, gentle and emotional. I can be manipulative and spiteful, I am opinionated and not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. I am always told I look like a bitch because i refuse to act fake in public BUT I guess everyone just thinks I'm a bitch, anyway... whatya think?

Moreover,

i think that I'm a really strong person, but I'm also pretty damaged.

Most girls annoy me.

I hate people who stare at me too long.

God is definitely a part of my life. I'm not at all religious though. More spiritual I guess.

I'm extremely protective of people that are important to me.

You'll probably never really know how I'm feeling.

I tend to bottle things up and just put a smile on my face.

I'm really laid-back and I love to make people laugh. I'm a very giving person.

I've been told that people think I'm a bitch when they first meet me, but I promise you that I'm just shy. If I like you, you'll know it. If I don't like you, you'll know it.

Laughing is the greatest thing in the world as well as music, lipgloss, french fries, designer perfume, rain, sparkly things, text messaging, sleeping, pink sneakers, dogs, tigers, pandas, dolphins, polar bears, peanut butter, books, stars, moon, porcelain dolls, teddy bears yellow tulips and chocolates.

Things that I completely loathe include lying, needles, drugs, bad/rude cab drivers, cold/sweaty hands and feet, screaming little kids, people who never keep their word and people who borrow my things without asking.

My dad is the greatest person in my life.

Lastly,

My middle name is VANITY.

"Rendirse a la vida es rendirse alcanzar los suenos nunca te rindas..."

2008-08-20T14:42:00.001+08:00

i looked up and see dark clouds, birds flying in a V position, the breeze no longer soft and the trees bending....

only then to realize that there's a storm coming.....

Open my can of failure

2008-07-01T08:33:00.000+08:00

So, this is where I've been swirling lately:

1. Realizing what i have now is WAY below my level of ability, knowledge, and challenge level. I'm bored out of my skull and already going crazy and want out.

2. Sadness ensues, but it's a necessary evil. Priorities change when life presents different opportunities.
I'm petrified of failure.

3.I'm hovering somewhere between melancholia and supremely sad and hiding it every moment of every day that I'm around people. I don't expect anyone to cheer me up and often the attempt to do so just pushes me away if it's done in an manner that is sugar-coated or overly sanguine. I end up frantic and can't get away fast enough. I need to swing.

4.There's a hollow that's eating me; it's always been eating me. From inside out. It started where my heart was and has just spread like malignant cancer to the point where I feel as though my bones are empty.
I'm trying to be the bouncy me, to reclaim the bits that shriveled and almost died. Perhaps my biggest fear is that I'm not going to *be* my old self again.

Too much confession, I suppose, but I'm not hiding anything for any purpose. I haven't had a reason.

2008-06-08T12:51:00.003+08:00

Wassup with you, people?

just got back from a 3 days and 2 nights vacation at Bolinao, Pangasinan where my Aunt just bought a resort - Hansmin white beach resort. it isnt opened to public yet, and only her's and Uncle han's few good SWISS friends come to visit and have a lil vacation over.
It was fun, i had a blast with my family! Instances like these never usually happen... we're one busy household eh. I took a 9 day vacation leave totally stress free vacation and all that. Away from efin casinos and busy street lights of manila.
all i had to do is sit back and relax with my headsets on, sip a watermelon shake and walah! this is LIFE!

ive always wanted to live by the beach. where the sun rise and sets perfectly. where i could have a world of my own. dont we all feel a lil stress out and sometimes we just wanna zone out ourselves from the 'used to' world we have and just have a deep breath into a whole new place, new people, new environment? thatll be awesome, aint it?

***

i watched SEX and the CITY. well im not really excited about the story per se, but i was more enthusiastic with the clothes and shoes they ( the main cast ) wore!
i was still hopin to find a manolo blahnik till the end of the movie, but duh who cares about MB when LV sets in! LV rocks! hah, can i just be GRETCHEN BARETTO for one day and have all these awesome pieces?? hahahaha
Where are you, my TONY BOY COJUANCO?

***

lesson for the day:

Do not let emotions ruin your day. its just a stupid feeling we all have to go through once in awhile.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

without you

2008-06-05T15:36:00.003+08:00

YOU

you made me swallow my pride and lost my self esteem.
you made me crawl and bite my nails till it bleed.
you made me cry a river and drown myself from my own tears.
You made me feel i am not worth loving that it is of great favor you did.

still,
i made you my world, but

you never gave me flowers.
you never shower me with pleasing words.
you never hug me when i needed one.
you were never there to catch me at all..

still,
i made you my galaxy, but

You made me feel ugly, ugliest than the worm.
You made me insecure, that any guy can only see me as an object.
You made me think i do not deserve to be treated well.

id better be out the soonest time possible or else
i'll lose the only person who can love and treat me good -- myself.

***
I have this song to remind myself that I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU!

2008-04-09T02:13:00.005+08:00

Taylor Swift- Tim McGraw

2008-04-09T01:51:00.005+08:00

Taylor Swift - Teardrops On My Guitar

Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I'm needing

Everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful,
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me,
I laugh cause it's so damn funny
I can't
Even see
Anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love,
He's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me,
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes,
So perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She'd better hold him tight,
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

So I drive home alone,
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

'Cause He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up,
But there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into.

Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see

2008-03-26T00:16:00.004+08:00

I haven't updated for the longest time. I feel like I've abandoned this thing.
Well, I guess in a way I kinda have. It's just harder than I thought,
keeping this journal alive. Words aren't enough to cover the days I've spent.
It just isn't working. I made this journal because I wanted to keep track of my life; keep track of who I am.
Someone once told me to make a journal, to write everything down, and one day when I get the chance to look back on it, I'll know what I've done with my life; that no matter what I think I didn't waste it. She said through a journal, it makes life less boring than what I used to think. She was right in a way. But then, the experience itself is what I'm after. The experience itself cannot be said through bold black sentences. It just doesn't live up to what it really is.

Looking back,

I realize that i have changed. I used to look up a lot and the end of the day, no matter what,
at least i had that big, beautiful sky to keep me interested. I don't look up anymore. I don't even look down. I've stopped bothering to look at all. I go through life without stopping to think about anything. I should really start paying more attention. I could be dead by now and not even know it.

***

I've been having so much trouble getting sleep for the past couple of weeks.

:( it sucks.

Q: Does sheep counting still works?
A: Duh. I don't efin think so.

eewww... This entry is so stupid. It makes me look bad. Maybe this is the result of not having to blog at all for like forever and so i must stop this shit before it gets stupid-er..

tee-hee..

2008-03-14T12:22:00.001+08:00

im back.

2007-11-16T23:11:00.000+08:00

Life has been good though! I haven't actually done anything/been anywhere memorable or worthwhile, but for some reason life just seems improved. Newfound mental clarity I guess, just a different way of seeing the world or something. Plus my mom is happier and less stressed and we get to talk more and our whole family dynamic is improved~

Couple of days back, i bought a cutey-lovey 2 month old shitzu!! yey! atleast i got a puppy waitin for me in ma apartment... been living independently for like 8 months now and it honestly feels great.... life has been treatin me so damn good lately... i have everything goin ma way.... ( thank god) been down a lot for the past months of this godly year but now.... no more d-r-a-m-a ( ugh puhleassseee) ... Soooo much has happened in the past few days! It's been amaaaazing. Life got like 10x better, maybe because I stopped comparing it to other peoples' lives... and i got back on track.... Lotsa prayers DO really help!! well im no church goer... but i must say i dont fail to drop by our casino chapel everyday..... ( yup! you read it right... there is a chapel INSIDE the casino... haha... funny, aint it?)

i needed some serious hair bleach.... and yah.... went to David's to have my hair done.... and walah! im rockin hell good! heh...

friends kept text messagin' me about me goin home manila this coming holidays... well, i honestly dunno... if i still wanted to go back.... the only 'thing' that makes lil me wanna go home to manila is GONE... and it hurt deep..

plus, URGHHH GUYSSSS I had this nightmare, and it seems stupid now that I think about it but while I was having it it was like terrifying. I neverrr have nightmares :(

2007-09-12T17:47:00.000+08:00

you know. i never kept a blog for attention.or pity, or to know people care/are concerned.
if i wanted to make a big deal out of the shit i put in here and what i'm feeling
i never wrote for attention or pity or concern.
i write and have always written for understanding.so YOU can try to understand ME a little bit better.
there's no other reason for it than that.
this page exists as encouragement for me to process my thoughts and feelings into words.
and also for people to try and grasp what i'm all about, not only on a superficial 'glimpse into my life' kind of level, but also on a deeper 'this is how i think, this is what's important to me' level.
i am not expecting anyone's pity nor asking for it.
i don't need it.
decidedly, you leaving a comment on a depressed entry isn't going to help my mood, and you even saying ANYTHING about it won't help me at all, so then why would i make a wah wah emo entry for that reason? looking for pity? well, i wouldn't.
because i'm not. it's the last thing i need, and i'm perfectly capable of dealing with myself. sympathy not neccessary.
i just want you to see me how i see me or at least try.
i want understanding more than anything.
i write here primarily for the beauty of communication and that's all.
so many people don't post in blogs much or when they have a sadder entry, they make it private, etc.why are people so scared of letting their feelings and thoughts out?
that's a dumb question--they're afraid of being judged.
well, i've been judged, and i'm not afraid of it and here i am.
this is my retaliation to being judged for what i choose to write about in here.
look, this blog?
nothing to do with you or your response or reaction. and everything to do with me just trying to get things out and convey emotion. that's all i've ever wanted to do in my writing--convey emotion.
not trigger any sort of unneeded response from the unhelpful although compassionate peanut gallery.
in addition, if you were me, you'd know that i don't say 80% of the shit that goes through my head. if you somehow think i'm an attention whore when you read the meager 20%, i'll try writing the other 80% and see if you can stomach that. if i really wanted attention, there is tons worse shit i could tell you besides that i used to cut and sometimes feel like doing it again. okay, big deal? part of an addiction is breaking it, part of an addiction is relapse.
it's not something i talk about in search of sympathy, or even mention often. it's something i talk about in search of understanding, so maybe you know me a little bit better that way. maybe you know more about my story that way. i talk about it not so you can fawn over me and give me attention. i talk about it because in my mind, it's an issue, and it's something that's ongoing in my life, something going on with me.
it's dumb. i'm not going to change how i document my life, thoughts, and feelings because you've gotten yourself a warped view of me through it. i'm not going to stuff all emotion away just so i can seem fine. i AM fine, but i do have problems sometimes or i get in bad moods.
WOO BIG DEAL. i post when i'm in a bad mood! i must want tons of attention! uh, WHAT? no! isn't it logical to want to get that negative emotion out of your system via writing about it?
I'M NOT ASKING FOR A RESPONSE OR EVEN ACKNOWLEDGMENT WHEN I POST AN ENTRY THAT SEEMS DEPRESSING. IT'S THERE SO YOU CAN TRY AND GET A GLIMPSE INTO MY HEAD FOR A SECOND, IT'S THERE SO YOU CAN KNOW ME.

thank you.

im so lost..... pathetic... could be the word.

2007-09-12T17:42:00.000+08:00

i've got this whole new idea.
this whole new plan.it's called giving up.
it's the safest thing i could ever do.
'this girl i got's disposable.
'this is the safest thing i could ever do.
i'll be happy this way and i'll just stop hoping and stop wishing and stop worrying about it.
there isn't any hope right now so why waste time on it?
give it up and just go through the motions.
i touch window panes delicately, like that glass could shatter at any time.
it really could, at the slightest tap.i won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted.
wake me up inside.surrender to nothing,call my name and save me from the dark.

i'll give up what i started and stopped.save me from the nothing i’ve become,from end to beginning.
now that i know what i’m without,a new day is coming.
you can't just leave me.and i am finally free.
breathe into me and make me real.run away, i'll attack.
bring me to life.run away, go change yourself.frozen inside without your touch,
i would’ve kept you forever.
without your love, darling,it ended for both of us.
only you are the life among the dead.
kill off this thinking,all this time, i can't believe i couldn't see.
it’s starting to sink in,kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me.
i’m losing control now.i’ve been sleeping a thousand years, it seems.but without you, i can finally see.got to open my eyes to everything.your promises, they look like lies,without a thought, without a voice, without a soul.your honesty is like a back that hides a knife,don't let me die here.there must be something more.bring me to life.

i guess i'm tired of being strong all the time.i'm tired of fighting how i feel all the time.
consumed by dead-love, nothing is really going to fix this.
to be honest, i'm not really worth a whole lot of anyone's time.

2007-09-12T17:31:00.000+08:00

inspite of all the hurts..... i still love you... truly....

manila... ill be back soon....

2007-07-30T19:25:00.000+08:00

Some of us may think that life is a fairy tale.
Magical. vivid.
We believe in happy endings..

That one day a knight in shining armor would show up in his stallion and save you from the wicked witch.
That when a frog receives a Princess's true loves kiss, he'd suddenly turn into a prince charming.

But fairy tale happens only in one poor childs dream world. Where life is so sweet like chocolates and candy bars.

As we go thru life, past your adolescent stage, as every heartbreak you take, you realize that theres more to life that just "happily ever after" and that stupid boyfriend you have is a frog and no matter how many kisses he receives in a day, you cant just turn him into a prince charming... he'll be a frog! forever.
and no fairy to turn to and ask for the glass shoe to fit and just be the plain prettiest girl at the ball to catch the prince.

We tend to learn that we get wiser each day and that theres no fairy god mother to save us from misery and lead us to a happy ending...

We decide. We struggle and somehow we begin to understand that we have the power to make each day a better day.

The power that doesnt come from a magic wand..
Its the power that comes within us.
Our inner strength.

2007-07-30T19:16:00.000+08:00

**why is it so hard to be happy?
it is because we refuse to let go of the things that makes us sad.

**Lovin someone so desperately is like holdin on to a piece of broken glass,
not wantin to give up yet your hands feel the pain and when you finally learn to let go
youre free from pain but your hands are empty and bleeding...

**LOVE RULES:

1.Hold on but know when to let go.
2. wait but be sure theres really someone worth the wait.
3. Dream but know when to wake up, if your partner doesnt love you.. go! move on..
It's okay to fall but know how to get up!

**its hard to smile when everything inside you tell you to cry.

2007-07-18T17:42:00.000+08:00

depression.

that simple word has taken over me, over my whole body, i can just feel it. i can feel the tears stinging my eyes. i can feel my cheeks wet. and i can feel my two eyes turning red.

depression.

do any of us know why that feeling ever just comes out of nowhere and hurts us pretty badly?

maybe its because youre just hiding from the world and are afraid of showing what you have got for it.

depression.

one word that everybody suffers from, a word i'm suffering from. how can i get rid of it? only time can tell. you know there is this saying where they say "time heals everything" but you know what? time has done nothing, it does practically nothing then make the situation worse. i wish it would go away already. but it just won't. i can't shake this feeling that everythings gonna get worse. i can't shake this feeling that its never gonna get better for me. because i see my friends get better but why dont i? why can't time just heal me for once? i'm starting to hate life all over again, i'm supposed to get past that, i'm supposed to remember that life is just life. nothing too hard.

You should probably go away, and leave me alone, because i dont wanna infect anybody and let depression take over them too, i'd rather live by myself than have anybody having to live with that feeling, because that feeling sucks big time and its pretty hard to let go of...

-sigh-

i'm talking crazy again. but i'm not. i dont know what i'm doing right now. i have all these mixed up emotions right now and its pretty damn confusing.

seriously? i'm not okay.

Chellie, im not okay.

2007-07-18T17:14:00.000+08:00

a perfect life

Did you ever make a really huge mistake in your life and actually learnt from it, but after years of forgetting that mistake, in some point of another you have to endure the pain again by having peeps around remindin' you of the mistake you've done over and over? isn't kinda shitty?

I love my life, in fact its great. Its just if i could just go back, and change some stuff i'm not happy about. My life would just be perfect.

P-E-R-F-E-C-T.

period.

**Sometimes the hardest things & the right things are the same - the fray**

Do you know that the hardest thing and the right things are all the same, which is the truth.
Isn't the word 'truth' the hardest, i mean as what people like to say "the truth is hard" but at the same time its just the right thing to do and just say it. You guys might understand it differently, but to whats going on right now in my life. i understood the truth.

Maybe it means its pretty damn hard but you just have to accept it. I don't know should i? You guys are totally lost aren't you?

-sigh-

If only i could tell you guys everything, but yet i don't want to because i'm too afraid of the people who are reading.

wtf?

**how am i suppose to live the last day of my life?

Seriously? I never thought of how i'd spend the last day of my life because you know what? I won't know when that day will come. No one ever knows right? Nobody just thinks and goes like "omg, i'm gonna die tomorrow or the day after" because in reality, people just don't even think of death for one second. And while your living your life, all of the sudden out of nowhere death slowly comes and creeps up behind you and steals everything you had going on in this world and just ends it...just like that. Like when your feeling ill, you think you'll get better soon but thats just a lie. or when youre walking down the street ready to hit the next mall by your side when all of the sudden a hit and run happens. Okay i mean, you ending up in the emergency room without knowing who hit you. You would end up in a coma and then just die...hmm..did i say too much? yep, okay thats maybe one real sad story but i just added the die part to make my point.

back to my answer.

Say for example, the world is about to end, how would i spend my last day?
hmm... honestly, this answer maybe one of the stupidest answers you guys have ever read, but i don't really care. I just want to live my last day with smiles and the feeling of happiness surrounding me. Because, this world is just full of drama, you know what i mean? I just want that one day to be drama-free, tear-free and fear-free. you know like when your driving your car, cruising around, the wind swinging your hair back and forth, the music is blasting through the stereo car and your just shouting out the lyrics really loudly while all you can do is smile and feel that great feeling that never comes up to anybody but rarely and not really caring about the world for just those three minutes of the song, just those three minutes of life? Okay maybe never comes up to me but rarely. I don't know about you guys though,

-sigh-

I want to feel that feeling now even though today might not be the last day i'll ever live. I wish i could feel that feeling everyday.

todays sentence is: you are pretty damn strong to be fighting everything that comes in your way.

2007-07-04T14:36:00.000+08:00

hey! i'm just being me..

it really doesnt matter what other people think and say..i dont live to please them.. nor required to..what matters is, i've made the most of what i have, i had fun, i learned from the mistakes ive done and lived through it all despite all the gossips, trash talks and intrigues..

For me that's being real..
Lovin' a life fearless of other people's shadow..
So why continually care about people who condemns me from what they hear or see?
For as long as i know me, i'll just be happy being me..

and they could all die of envy.

2007-07-04T14:26:00.000+08:00

For you... yes you.

Pls Read the lyrics carefully and youll know why...

4 in the morning
by Gwen Stefani

Wakin up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had it's say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think,
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I know you're here, in the dark
I'm watchin you sleep, it hurts a lot

And all I know is you've got to give me everything
And nothing as good,
You know I'd give you all of me

I'd give you everything that I am
I'm handin over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the morning
And the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we're gonna do it come and do it right

All I wanted was to know and say
Don't wanna lose the love I found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down

It's not fair, how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your lovin for me
We can't escape the love
With everything that you have

2007-07-04T13:23:00.001+08:00

Ed Roland is a god!

WORLD I KNOW

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in new york city
And I dont know why.

Are we listening to hyms of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that Ive been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down.
cause its the world I know.
Its the world I know

PRECIOUS DECLARATION

Hitched a ride to the peaceful side of town
Then proceeded where thieves were no longer found
Cant crash now Ive been waiting for this
Wont crash now I found some encouragement
Precious declaration reads
Yours is yours and mine you leave alone now
Precious declaration says
I believe all hope is dead no longer

New meanings to the words I feed upon
Wake within my veins elements of freedom
Cant break now Ive been living for this
Wont break now Im cleansed with hopefulness
Precious declaration reads
Yours is yours and mine you leave alone now
Precious declaration says
I believe all hope is dead no longer

Once I jumped thru hoops of fire
As high and far as you required
I was blind but now I see
Salvation has discovered me

A PUBLIC Apology

That last post/rant made me look like I cared about that subject a lot more than I actually do care about it, hahaha. Really, it's not that big of a deal, just annoying... but I was in a terrible mood then and so everything was a big deal

But them again, i apologize for the words and all that. heh.

***

bored ;___;
my mood : determined

I need something to do. Something fun and adventurous. I hate not doing anything anymore how sucktaclular! Im going to be an adult soon and what have i accomplished in life so far that was beyond ordinary? I dont like being ordinary! i want to be free explore, laugh and live life. Okay not more to say but everyone should try to live a little and stop being safe. If youre safe your whole life your going to regret not being a little dangerous!

and yeah i guess in need to say this...

Sooooooooo. This morning sucked. Like ...Big time.

....why cant I just live in a drama free world? I try to make things better for everyone but i wind up fucking it up.....

aaaaah this sucks..

I'm gonna go drown my emotions in cookies.....

again....

2007-07-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

I've said it before, i'll say it a couple times:
Don't hate me because i'm pretty, hate me because you simply can't be me!

yes, I'm going to continue to sporadically update my journal out of annoyance or
did I mention pointlessly update my journal?

And now, obviously, because I'm me, I can't go to sleep because I'm scared there'll be a fire. Yay. *sits and rocks. in the non-musical way*

2007-07-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

I'm Going Home!

Home
by Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

2007-06-28T18:52:00.000+08:00

Oh no! Not Again!

I can barely even begin to type this because I feel it will just turn into a rant and by the end I will have said nothing I originally set out to say, just come off as an angry sobbing wreck and that's not exactly the image of myself I want to portray. I'm just. I'm angry at myself and my own stupid brain. I'm just so..

Ugh I DON'T CARE.IM WRITIN' WHAT I HAVE TO.THIS IS MY JOURNAL.AND IT'S THERAPEUTIC. FOR ME. I'm not gonna be labeled emo for having emotions that make me human and trying to put them into words. And no I'm not hormonal, it's two weeks past that time.

I feel like I'm going to EXPLODE. I have so much frustration and anger and boredom and sadness built up inside my I literally feel full to the brim, when I think about it it's like my chest swells up like my lungs might just burst. And the tears just fall out and I think if I screamed that would help but I can't because the house i live in has no privacy. GOD I just can't stand this. I've sobbed when everybody else is asleep. I'm miserable and this island feels like a prison. Last night I looked for societies or something I could join around here and there is nothing. NOTHING. I live NOWHERE.

And to anyone who doesn't know this I should explain; I live in the middle of a field, and I have really bad social anxieties. To walk to the nearest mall would take me hours. I'm stuck.

I've wanted to quit my job and crawl back to manila and everytime I think it I think 'no, don't be stupid' but that's getting more half hearted every time. I hate this pointlessness. I hate moving. I hate being static. I hate the same thing day in day out. I need a life. I need something to do.

My life is pointless.

At the moment.

and to make it worst, my birthdays up in days now..

saddest birhday to date..

until someone up there hears my awe..

I have myself

2007-06-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

I have myself

I feel like I should write in here. Today sucked but at least I know I'm trying to make things better. I just wish I had a gut feeling on what to do. I need something to go with instead of sitting here weighing all the options and risks. I need to be happy again, I know that for damn sure. So I'm making it happen.I just needed to have something encouraging to be concrete somewhere. If I don't have anyone in this world, I have myself.

and i'm sure glad, im back to bloggin' again.

wink*

On the other hand, i feel like dancin' to this..
old old song from way way back..

All Saint's Booty Call

Attention, Biatches! i got a word for yah...

Hey Chelli, when's the wedding? :P

Raine, so baby girl, eh? Im happy for you, dahlin..

Marti, you okay? Haven't heard ya for days? Are you savin' up yer mobile load for nothin'? haha

Pearly, somethin' cookin', eh?

okay. okay. i need a shut eye. let's call it a day.
and besides i got a calamares waitin' for me at home... yum. yum...

but,

yah it'll be better if ill have watermelon shake too! heh.

my stomachs growlin'... didja hear that?

I'm so non sense.

gotta end this.... *wink*

2007-06-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

Snow on the Sahara
by Anggun

Only tell me that you still want me here
When you wander off out there
To those hills of dust and hard winds that blow
In that dry white ocean alone
Lose out in the desert
Ou are lost out in the desert

But to stand with you in a ring of fire
Ill forget the days gone by
Ill protect your body and guard your soul
From mirages in your sight

Lost out in the desert
You are lost out in the desert

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
Ill be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes, Ill pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the sahara

Just a wish and I will cover your shoulders
With veils of silk and gold
When the shadows come and darken your heart
Leaving you with regrets so cold

Lost out in the desert
You are lost out in the desert

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
Ill be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes, Ill pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the sahara

If thats the only place where you can leave your doubts
Ill hold you up and be your way out
And if we burn away, Ill pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the sahara

2007-06-25T17:04:00.001+08:00

Random Thoughts

**To all mi gossipers and haters:

'Come what may. I'll take you all on. I am never to be broken.'

**Omg. So it's like. yeah go ahead. I don't need all these. I've got a full plate now.

Sometimes less important things pile up on yer face, you tend to forget the things that need the most attention. Like buying a plane ticket over some cute white top. Beh.
And i'd be back in Manila soon, ugh... well---- for a short vacation, atleast. Like a ten day hassle-free-no-work-worries to bug me. Gosh. Im so friggin' excited!! Bet you can't tell how excited i am, heh. I feel like packing my bag now.

**ok so I have been quoted several times and EVERYTIME they have, they either misquoted me or totally skewed what I said! and this most recent time I didnt say anything even NEAR what they said I did. Duh.

I'm pissed.
thats sOOOO dumb.
I'd better zippah mi big mouth.

** Then, few people in the world call me little helpless girl.
It makes me feel like a smile cant help but peek through.

things are getting better. hopefully.
atleast im positive.

**Oh what a lovely day... just got paid... lovely day.
err, you don't mind me singin', do ya?

**Sometimes the little things make me the happiest.
But also they can hurt the most..

Yummy Calamares.. hmmm i can taste one. SOON.

Ouch. My stomach hurt.

**Pretty girls get to be hated and envied the most.
And so they become victims of their own beauty.
Beauty is curse.

hence,

i'd rather be hated than fugly. haha

**rather uneventful weekend
Just sort of hung out. slept a lot. Lots of thinking. Lots of emotional baggage.
Listening to music. Appreciating what i have as far as everything goes.

I think I'm catching a bit of a cold
Gotta have lots of soup and be sure to keep warm.
See everyone, i just have what they call---- monday sickness...

BURP.

**It seems like it has been forever. A couple months at least.
Help! im trapped in Mactan!

wtf is up with that?

2007-06-25T16:28:00.000+08:00

im luvin these songs

Sweet Escape
by Gwen Stefani

If I could escape I would but,First of all,
let me sayI must apologize for acting stank & treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold?

If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world&
I could be your favourite girl (forever), Perfectly together
Tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet,
I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better, Tell me boy wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)

I want to get away, to our sweet escape
I want to get away, yeah
You held me down, I'm at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out, I need to get me out of this joint
Come on let's bounce, counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around, let's look for some common ground
So baby, times get a little crazy
I've been gettin' a little lazy, waitin' on you to come save me
I can see that you're angry by the way that you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me, wanted you with me

If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world&
I could be your favourite girl (forever),
Perfectly together& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet (sorry boy)
I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)Woohoo, YeehooWoohoo, Yeehoo (If I could escape)
Woohoo, yeehoo (If I could escape)
Woohoo, YeehooCause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold?
If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world& I could be your favourite girl (forever),
Perfectly together& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet (sorry boy)
I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)Woohoo, Yeehoo (I wanna get away, get away)
Woohoo, Yeehoo (To our sweet escape)Woohoo, Yeehoo
(I wanna get away)Woohoo, Yeehoo (Yeah)
Woohoo, YeehooWoohoo, Yeehoo

Have you ever seen the rain?
by Rod Stewart

Someone told me long ago
theres a calm before the storm,I know;
its been comin for some time.
When its over, so they say, itll rain a sunny day,I know;
shinin down like water.

I want to know, have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain
Comin down on a sunny day?
Yesterday, and days before, sun is cold and rain is hard,I know;
been that way for all my time.til forever,
on it goes through the circle, fast and slow,I know; it cant stop, I wonder.

****and heres a one cute song by the lovely Drew and Hugh Grant

Way back into love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long Trapped in the past, I
just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again I guess
I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

2007-06-14T18:52:00.000+08:00

If you're somehow trapped between your feelings and what other people think that's right, always go for whatever makes you happy..
unless you want everyone to be happy for you.. except you being happy for yourself.

**
Seems to me like i can never learn life and what it's all about. I seem to have been here before, it's not the first time I have felt its necessary to post a 'public' apology for my lack of ability to keep up with life.. Plus, i'm having a hard time dealing with the truth that life is for living not for pecuniary gain and you can't please all of the people all of the time. And so it is.

bleep. bleep.

**
Are We, as in humans, mostly a loving or hating creatures? I always thought that though we see so much hatred present in this world, we still are much busier with loving each other and expressing positive feelings, rather than hating and having negative opinions for each other. Though I agree that both love and hate can indeed coexist, like that in a romantic relationship...

one moment you feel loved then the next day, you're completely ignored... like you don't exist!

P.S.> Maybe this is a stupid post, but a good one to give it a little thought.

**
Went to Bantayan ( one of the finest beach in cebu) couple of days back. I enjoyed my 'personal moments'.. where i just had to lay down and stuck my nose on the sand, taste it's salty water, soiled mi feet and pick me up some fine stones along the shore line.
i love it at night, you see the stars just as if you can reach them and save it in yer pocket.
The tapping sound the waves create gives you the sense of calming effect, wherein you can close yer eyes and imagine yerself somewhere else.. some place where happiness is just in a corner. you see in a real world, happiness can be far to reach out at times.. like its just another word in dictionary.. you know the definition of the word but what about the meaning of it?

anyhow... i just wanna save myself some fake laughter.
it helps. at times.

**
I love reading blogs. I see to it that everytime i surf the net i get to have enough time in readin all of mi pal's blogs. See reading their posts makes me feel near them ( like im never trapped in a godforsaken island )..

well.. enough of these.. i just like to point out that i felt sad when i learned MArti stopped blogging...
i know yer readin' marti , just go ahead and bounce yer broke ass home. haha

2007-06-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

its no efin secret.... im free!!!!!

sometimes what people say or write about you can break someone's heart... so fckin true...
but what the heck... you know yourself too well you dont have to explain yourself to these close minded people who knew nothing but hurt people with their harsh words...
why dont you people just mind your own business?? aint that something you owe to yourselves?
heres one thought i wanna share to y'all...

Yeah It's officially the biggest midget in the game...
I dunno Make way for the s.o veign
Love me or hate me it's still an obsession
Love me or hate me that is the question
If you love me then thank you If you hate me then f**k you
I'm fat and need a diet
No in fact I'm just to light and I aint got the biggest breast-s-s
But I write all the best-s hits I got hairy armpits
But I don't walk around like this
I wear a big baggy T-shirt That hides that nosty sh*t
Ugh... never had my nails done
Bite them down until they're none
I'm the one with a non-existent bum
I don't really give a UGH I'm missing my shepherd's pie
Like a high maintenance chick missing her diamonds
I'm missing my Clipper lighters
Now bow down to your royal highness
No, I don't own a corgi I had a hamster
It died cus I ignored it Go on then, go on report me I'm English, try and deport me
Love me or hate me it's still an obsession
Love me or hate me that is the question If you love me then thank you If you hate me then f**k you
I'm a funky little monkey
With the tiniest ears I don't like drinking fancy shampi
I stick with Heineken beers Oops, might burp in your face
A little unladylike, what can I say?
Well oh gosh I'm not posh me, I wear odd socks I do what I'm doing yeah
So everybody's entitled to opinions I open my mouth and sh*t I got millions I'm the middle kid, the riddle kid I make you giggle til you're sick
My nose jiggles while I spit
Yeah I do have some stories
And it's true I want all the glory Go on then, come on support me
I'm English try and deport me
Love me or hate me it's still an obsession
Love me or hate me that is the question If you love me
then thank you If you hate me then f**k you x 2 Love me or hate me, love me or hate me
So I can't dance and I really can't sing,
yeah I can only do one thing and that's be Lady Sovereign

hahaha... lemme laugh my way to yah fat ass!!!! hahaha

Im a very trusting person. I trust people to date and to mess up with...
Just so happen that i find it very hard to recognize the one to trust to and those who are so called 'two faced' in casino. From the way i see it some people just cant help themselves but find faults on you...

oopsssss...... before i forget id like to quote a gay friend of mine in casino
he once mentioned
'my life's in manila but my hearts in mactan'....

i gasped and then i wonder... where do my heart go?
sooner or later i have to make a decision...

then when i finally make it.... no more sleepless nights to dance with....

2007-05-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

im caught up between whats right and wrong!

i even dunno the difference of the two.. call me an idiot... been ignorin' my instincts... wanna go on with what makes me happy rather than the so called 'right thing to do'...

how would you justify the fact that what youre doin is wrong if that wrong act is your one chance of happiness? or simply, would you allow such act to affect the decision you have to make today?

caught up beween the past and the present... and cant figure out which way leads to my future...

either way... happiness is still out of hand...

and...

im good as dead.

2007-04-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

Im in fckin Mactan!

*Casino Filipino Mactan , waterfront hotel *

being away from my family is a whole lotta hassle, plus i hate the feeling that i dont fuckin belong to this place. People can talk shit about you for you dont know their dialect, you get to be paranoid the whole time.. haha... and you know me... if paranoia kills, im dead.

sure ive established good friends and office mates here... but it seems to me like i'm missin' out something and i cant figure out what it is...so far...

id be here for 6 mos.. i miss my mom even if shes gettin into my nerves at times... we get to argue a lot over simple things,,, you know how mother-daughter tandem could be.. ayt? but anyhow, i still miss her... her lutong bahay and all that sermon..my dad who seems to be too serious over things...my makulit 11 y.o brother ( who's by the way will be binata na in a few days... haha), my dogs.....my poodle, oreo; my rott, rocky and my lab, blackie...

toni is back!

2007-03-16T10:27:00.000+08:00

being isolated in a boot camp bore me to death... being in a far away land like cavite is something new to me... eating in carinderia and having to jog every 6 am in the morning as part of daily routine stress the hell out of me. but hey... just like what my mom says.. 'its just a phase'.. so here i am kickin a whole new world out mi shoes.

i had my first day of OJT at Casino Filipino Heritage Hotel yesterday. Just before i step in to the vicinity, i feel like there were dozen of butterflies in my stomach.. creepin and would wanna go out.. i fell like puking.... eew... but the fuck the moment i went in... i realized hey this is my dream..... i have waited long for this..... and here i am facing all these rich people...... seeing millions of pesos in just one bet... people losing 7 million pesos in just approximately 4 hours... and damn.... i could nt believe how some people treat money JUST LIKE THAT... while here i am working busting my ass real hard just to have me a dime... haha

admittedly, i miss my call center friends... i miss the life i used to live way back but this is the new phase of my life... prolly the best phase of my life.. and i'm so thankful that the waits finally over...

2007-02-11T19:48:00.000+08:00

I feel like everything has come to a sudden halt, my friends are talking in slow motion, and the clock ive been staring at has stopped ticking. And slow interent connection makes the job even worse. Thats when you find yourself unable to live in the present. You just wanna jump to your future. Like you just wanna skip and FF every sad details of life. Like what my dad does everytime he finds one scene in the movie really boring, he'd reach for remote and click...

That's exactly what i wanna do... with my life.

I feel like my life's a very boring tv soap and the viewers would just yawn and look forward to its commercial break. It's getting monotonous. I'm sick and tired of it. And then there are alot of things on my plate now. Things i need to accomplish before the end of the month, so little time so much to do, as they say. Know what i mean?

I actually read some of my friend's blogs and i see them happy at the moment. I feel happy for them too. It's totally cool to have friends with positive vibe.

But, not that i totally wanna zone out myself from the word 'happiness'... i just don't feel like smiling. Or whatever.

On the lighter side, i'm glad i was able to sit down and had lunch with my family earlier. It's been awhile.

( checks out the time )

And something to look forward to--- i gotta go bounce in 15 mins....yey!

2007-02-11T18:37:00.000+08:00

Sundays are best with my family

2007-02-08T19:03:00.000+08:00

Question Of The Day:

Would you wanna be married to someone who is extremely vain

-OR-

has an extremely poor self-image?

2007-02-07T18:26:00.000+08:00

Beautiful things need appreciation

2007-02-07T17:11:00.000+08:00

I went to a first class mall in Makati to buy this mobile phone ( see i've been eye-ing this for months ). And now that i have it i'm pretty satisfied and cool with it. In fact i fell inlove with it.

One day, i've realized that cell phones should have NTC sticker at the back of it. ( if you bought it to registered mobile outlets ) and so right as soon as i've heard this, i checked the back of my phone, confident to find an NTC sticker. But to my surprise, there is NONE.

No f-in sticker!

My fingers itched and dialed the store from where i bought it. The lady who answered the phone kept cool and pulled up the info of my phone on their data base. After seconds of dead air, she was sorry and asked me to bring the receipt and visit their store so my phone could have the sticker.

I mean is this really possible?

Well... i'm an idiot not to bother check the back of my phone in the first place. Hello! Like i would bother anyway, i was like a child the day i purchased it. I was like 'give me that! give me my phone! '

Duh. Like i'm to blame.

Or am i really that stupid not to know anything about that fcukn sticker?

On the other hand, i have realized i'm getting older.
Earlier, i was watchin 'Home boys' of Boy Abunda. And he had Bea Alonzo, Shaina Magdayao and some teener boppy cast as his guests. Watchin them, i kinda realized im no longer a fan of any of these teen-y Tv shows or i just hate the fact na dalaga na si Shaina. Tapos sina Angelica Panaganiban at Camille Pratts nagpa-sexy na! Eh dati rati ang li-liit pa ng mga yan sa SARAH, ang munting prinsesa movie.. p*kshet! Parang ang tanda ko na nga yata tlaga..

And to add it up to my feeling-matanda-feeling... i'm actually thinkin of saving up for my future, buy properties and stuff like that...

I'm talking about long term. I don't wanna be locked up in tahanang walang hagdan when i get older and of course i dont wanna meddle with my kid's lives in that event.

Pero naisip ko...ayaw ko ring makita ang sarili ko na nangungulubot. So i'm saving up for future facial lift and botox expenses. Bagay na ayaw ko naman iasa sa mga magiging anak ko pagdating ng panahon, dba?

But i still have my family on top of my priority list.

and i have someone up there to make all my goals possible.

2007-02-01T07:38:00.000+08:00

Should i stay or should i go?

Darling you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
Ill be here til the end of time
So you got to let know
Should I stay or should I go?

Always tease tease tease
Siempre - coqetiando y enganyando
Youre happy when Im on my knees
Me arrodilla y estas feliz
One day is fine, next is black
Un dias bien el otro negro
So if you want me off your back
Al rededar en tu espalda
Well come on and let me know
Me tienes que desir
Should I stay or should I go?
Me debo ir o que darme

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know

This indecisions bugging me
Esta undecision me molesta
If you dont want me, set me free
Si no me quieres, librame
Exactly whom Im supposed to be
Diga me que tengo ser
Dont you know which clothes even fit me?
saves que robas me querda?
Come on and let me know
Me tienes que desir
Should I cool it or should I blow?
me debo ir o quedarme?

Should I stay or should I go now?
yo me frio o lo sophlo?
If I go there will be trouble
Si me voi - va ver peligro
And if I stay it will be double
Si me quedo es doble
So you gotta let me know
Me tienes que decir
Should I stay or should I go?
yo me frio o lo sophlo?

2007-01-28T18:06:00.000+08:00

Push It All Aside
Alisha's Attic

We have got to stop fighting
We have got to learn to get along
We have got to know for a relationship in heaven
We've got to tame the devils on our tongue

Oh it gets harder every time
But we've both crossed the invisible line
It feels like we're on two different planets
We're broken, who's gonna fix us?
And put us back together again

So let's push it all aside
Take a swallow of pride
And realise that
Nothing could be sweeter
Than loving each other
If we forget who was wrong
And who's right

Yeah let's push it all aside
Take a swallow of pride
And realise that
Nothing could be sweeter
Than loving each other
If we forget who was wrong
And who's right

We have got to stop fighting
And put our ammunition to one side
We have got to understand exploding isn't ever
Gonna close the gap between us it's too wide

Oh it gets harder everyday
We spit back at each other and say
"it feels like we're on two different planets."
But when all the damage is done
It's too late to be sorry

So let's push it all aside
Take a swallow of pride
And realise that
Nothing could be sweeter
Than loving each other
If we forget who was wrong
And who's right

Yeah let's push it all aside
Take a swallow of pride
And realise that
Nothing could be sweeter
Than loving each other
If we forget who was wrong
And who's right

So yeah, let's get some understanding
Just take a deep big breath and say
"you can forget all the words i said
Keep them far away
Cos they don't mean what i meant
And now they're gone anyway."

So let's push it all aside
Take a swallow of pride
And realise that
Nothing could be sweeter
Than loving each other
If we forget who was wrong
And who's right

Yeah let's push it all aside
Take a swallow of pride
And realise that
Nothing could be sweeter
Than loving each other
If we forget who was wrong
And who's right

2007-01-28T15:19:00.000+08:00

A secret will be out....SOON.

Anyhow, i am so looking forward to new things in my life. I guess im just the type of person who's never afraid of letting things happen in an outburst. I used to plan every minute of my life. Like before i go out of the house, i make sure that the things im usin' that day are lined up accordingly, or if im really havin' a big day i make sure that my outfit for that occassion is ready the night before.

Yep, that's me.

Two weeks ago, i had a chance to sit down and talk to Lola. She just turned 91 that night, we threw a party for her. And the old fart enjoyed it i guess. So here it goes, she told me life shouldn't be planned at all. You should let things happen. She told me that if you are stiff and scared to let things happen out of your watch, then you're missin out so much fun. Enjoyable things happen when you least expect it.

Now, i ask you, would you take a statement of a 91 y.o ulyanin lola? For me, the answer is yes.
And besides, pabalik na sya, tayo papunta pa lang. If you know what i mean.

At my age, i have learned few good things that i need to share. I need you to ponder on this...

1. Never try to please everyone.
Even though you're like a saint. You can never please all the people around you. Some will def hate you for certain things. And it is a fact.

2. Spend time wisely.
Use every minute of it to your advantage.

3. You are your own competititon.
That bitch next to you might be 99.9% good lookin than you are. But come to think of it. You are you. You have the power to change your looks just by going to a salon and stuff yourself friends who are less attractive compared to you. hehe

4. Be sure to be engaged 6 mos before marrying your significant other.
You sure wanna be married to someone who knows how many smiles you have and be able to describe when you use each of those ( like in the movie win a date with Tad Hamilton ).

5. Dogs are loyal.
Marry your dog. :)

6. Love your job.
But come on, if your job doesn't love you back. Then you better be ready with that resignation letter anytime soon. And please have a graceful exit.

7. Friends come and go.
You don't have the power to change the fact that your life is like a coffee shop. Some will stay for awhile, some will be out sooner than you know, and some will love the coffee taste they'd be around forever. Well i had this quote from a good friend of mine, Ice B.

A true friend is someone who knows you're good egg, even if you're a little cracked.

8. Some good things never last.
Remember your first love? Well that's the least you can do. You can never have it back.
A memory of true love is like a favorite song; no matter how many times it plays again, you never get tired of it.

9. Your ex partners will move on with their lives. And there's nothing you can do about it.
So you can quit snoopin' around their friendster profiles! ( Didja hear that, Marti? )

10.This is a general rule for all the men out there.
Never give your woman your credit card.

On a second thought, i should've omitted rule # 10.
*Jc, you're not readin, are you? wink*

11. Have a healthy diet.
For pete's sake, don't starve yourself. Chel told me i shouldn't take rice out of my diet program.

12. Not all men want a skinny woman.

Yesterday, Noel made a good point tellin' me i'm not fat! Thanks , Noel. You brought me back to my sanity. hehe

14. <---- Skip the unlucky number.

15. Shop till you drop.
Be sure you dont own a credit card. tee-hee.
*singing_mode*

why spend mine? when i can spend yours... Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey)
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here)
Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea)
Creole lady Marmalade

16. Being broken hearted is like havin a broken pair of limbs. On the outside it looks like there's nothing wrong, but every breath fuckin' hurts...

This is what i have on the list so far. I hope you guys learned something from this. Time to go back to work now.
'Till then peeps...

2007-01-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

I've finally decided to change the 'look and feel' of my blog.
( Thanks a lot to Chellie_Vanelli who made it possible. * Mwah Hugs * )

So why bloody red? I got tired of all black-and-purple tandem. Yeh. Even if it's mah fave shade.
Some old things bore the hell outta me. And i felt the need to do something whenever boredom takes it's shot right thru me.

A little earlier somebody told me that dark colors such as black and red doesn't identify me. And that its better to have my old blog back.

Thanks a lot for the input, guys. I appreciate it all.

And yah, by the way, i'd like to recognize the fact that some 'friendster peeps' read my blog.

Guys, it doesn't really matter whether i know you personally or not. Really. Ya know what? The time and effort you guys exert just to land on mah page brings joy to mah heart.
I feel so loved!
Sweet.

hello to my online friends.... and please introduce yourselves... i'd be happy knowin i'm not talkin' to a dummy.

I love y'all..

wink*

2007-01-26T15:44:00.000+08:00

i stole this from somewhere..

NAME

A : You like to drink
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : You like to drink.
E : You are dead sexy
F : Damn Good Kisser.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You're loyal to those you love.
I : Great in bed.
J : People Adore you.
K : You're wild and crazy.
L : Unbeliavably great in bed.
M : best kisser ever.
N : You like to drink.
O: awesome kisser.
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : Fuckin crazy.
S : Easy to fall in love with.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgemental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.
Z : Always ready.

***
A : You like to drink.
N : You like to drink.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
O: awesome kisser.
N : You like to drink.
E : You are dead sexy.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
E : You are dead sexy.

so that makes me double times sexy, triple times loyal, a kisser and real alcoholic? haha

2007-01-25T18:51:00.000+08:00

Cool vid....

2007-01-25T15:29:00.000+08:00

I think i'm hooked!

Beach Girls

Its about summer love, secrets, betrayal and friendship.. Jack and Nell go to Hubbard's Point for the summer, where Nell's recently deceased-mother spent her summers with 2 friends (they were the Beach Girls). Nell later made two good friends in the name of Skye and Clare.
I must say the books a good read.. and i'm sure glad that this amazing piece comes in tv... and DVD series... heh

2007-01-24T18:10:00.000+08:00

Dita Von Teese

2007-01-23T15:39:00.000+08:00

Oh gawd! She's hot!

Jordana Brewster

Just watched the movie D.E.B.S.. o booey! She sure rocked every lezzi'z world in that make out scene with co star Sara Foster..

Pfew!

2007-01-22T17:04:00.000+08:00

Mon 22 Jan 2007

What is this thing?

whatever... i'm luvin' it...

Click here to find out!

2007-01-22T16:56:00.000+08:00

Motorola KRZR

Motorola KRZR Review Here.

2007-01-18T05:01:00.000+08:00

Well done, Lindsay Lohan!

Lindsay for Miu Miu Spring 2007 ad campaign

FYI: Miu Miu was the childhood nickname of Prada Designer & Heiress, Miuccia Prada.

2007-01-17T04:35:00.000+08:00

Wed 17 Jan 2007

Layo ng LA U

I so hate bus rides! It took us like 7 hours to get to Sebay, La Union. But right as soon my new purple flip flops landed the beach area, ive realized.. i'm ditchin' the long exhausting ride for this lovely waves.. Hell yeah! The waves were so calm.. not angry ( unlike the waves of Puerto Galera ). No wonder why surfers lurve San Juan Surf Resort.

So i haven't had much debateful moments with Pearly this time around and i didn't have to share the sheets with her too.. Thank gawd. She had to sleep right beside Marti.. and to me thats good news.. haha

Marti enjoyed her mango shakes and BLT sandwiches, Pearly had her surfing lesson with Luke ( a pro ) and NO watermelon shake for me! too bad. but atleast i managed to be in mah overpriced swimsuit. believe me it felt like a beauty queen with those on... hahahaha ( parang bang blusang itim na 'pag isinuot mo bigla kang gaganda, aba 'pag suot ko ba naman... yun taba at baby fats ko PARANG nawala.. para lang. hahahaha)

woot.. woot. woot...

While watching Pearly taking her surfing lesson from afar... and Marti taking pictures of Pearly who can hardly stand up on her board.. ive realized things..

1. it's marti's bday on thursday
2. Pearly told me Marti was kinda mad at me for calling them names ( i had a lil argument with them day before )
3. i don't have to rely on someone for me to be happy..
4. i crave for watermelon shake whenever i'm havin' fun under the sun
5. these two bitches crack the hell outta me at times...
wanna know why?
Pearly painted the words 'toni's good.. with her mouth shut' on a subtle way.. ( very annoyin')
Marti hates me for being too lazy to use the flush lever

but fact remains...

i love 'em both.. like crazy.

6. JC's im mah system.
7. i can't live without my sunblock.. and my digi cam...
8. i wanna have the electric blue MOTO krazr badly!
9. i'm a cam whore!
10. in one of those beach moments... i realized what a real vain person i make. and im not proud of it...

sometimes i think my vanity would just wanna cover up some lame ass chick who's afraid of social rejection, or more so a very insecure, hideous person.

and that scares me.

La Union

2007-01-09T08:05:00.000+08:00

Tue 9 Jan 2007

Last night, whilst mindlessly channel surfing, I stumbled upon Oprah. It was the episode with Madonna and the Dixie Chicks which aired last 25th October 2006 in the States, so I apologize that this is not exactly 'news' or current in any way but I feel compelled to mention it. I do not intend to go into a long tirade about either issue discussed on the show, especially since so much has already been said about Madonna's adoption of little David..

anyhow, i'd like to make a point...

It seems to me that there is no way that one can criticise Madonna for wanting to give a home to a child who is likely to die before his fifth birthday. It is simply not possible for her, or any one person, to save all the world's starving and impoverished children. Even if she hadn't donated millions, she is entitled to try to help in whatever way she wants. It is such a shame that the media, derives so much satisfaction and profit from making this genuine act of kindness somehow sullied or cynical. I have also read that people see Madonna's interview with Oprah as unemotional. I completely disagree with this. You would have to be devoid of human empathy to see this woman was trying very hard to speak rationally and calmly about something about which she feels hurt and passionate. I am no major Madonna fan, but I admire her. And even more so now.

Well, i've been listening to Madonna's old songs lately.. and i must say this song is so stuck in my head now...

Don't Tell Me
Madonna

Don't tell me to stop
Tell the rain not to drop
Tell the wind not to blow
'Cause you said so, mmm

Tell the sun not to shine
Not to get up this time, no, no
Let it fall by the way
But don't leave me where I lay down

Tell me love isn't true
It's just something that we do

Tell me everything I'm not
But please don't tell me to stop
But don't ever tell me to stop

Tell the leaves not to turn
But don't ever tell me I'll learn, no, no
Take the black off a crow
But don't tell me I have to go

Tell the bed not to lay
Like the open mouth of a grave, yeah
Not to stare up at me
Like a calf down on its knees

Please don't
Please don't
Please don't tell me to stop

Don't you ever
Don't ever tell me to stop
[Tell the rain not to drop]

Tell the bed not to lay
Like a open mouth of a grave, yeah
Not to stare up at me
Like a calf down on its knees

Tell me love isn't true
It's just something that we do

Tell me everything I'm not
But please don't tell me to stop
But don't ever tell me to stop

2007-01-04T16:34:00.000+08:00

Thurs 4 Jan 2007

I have always been intrigued as to why some people perceive self harm as a way to cope over unmasked feelings.. i know a friend who needs to read this article badly..

Dear you,

i know you read my blog once in awhile.. and as a friend im posting this for you and for those of you with same issue.. found this on the net..

Self harm

http://www.mirror-mirror.org/selfinj.htm

Many people with eating disorders also engage in the act of self-injury. Just like the eating disorders are used to help the individual cope, the act of injuring oneself is also used to help cope with, block out, and release built up feelings and emotions. Self-injury is probably the most widely misunderstood forms of self harm and there are many myths associated with it, which can make it difficult for people to reach out and ask for help.

Self-injury (self-harm, self-mutilation) can be defined as the attempt to deliberately cause harm to one's own body and the injury is usually severe enough to cause tissue damage. This is not a conscious attempt at suicide, though some people may see it that way.

It has been reported that many people who self-injure have a history of sexual or physical abuse, but that is not always the case. Some may come from broken homes, alcoholic homes, have emotionally absent parents, etc. There are many factors that could cause someone to self-injure as a way to cope.

There are three types of self-injury. The rarest and most extreme form is Major self-mutilation. This form usually results in permanent disfigurement, i.e. castration or limb amputation. Another form is Stereo typic self-mutilation which usually consists of head banging, eyeball pressing and biting. The third and most common form is Superficial self-mutilation which usually involves cutting, burning, hair-pulling, bone breaking, hitting, interference with wound healing and basically any method used to harm oneself.

Most people who self-injure tend to be perfectionists, are unable to handle intense feelings, are unable to express their emotions verbally, have dislike for themselves and their bodies, and can experience severe mood swings. They may turn to self-injury as a way to express their feelings and emotions, or as a way to punish themselves.

You may be wondering why someone would intentionally harm themselves. Self-injury can help someone relieve intense feelings such as anger, sadness, loneliness, shame, guilt and emotional pain. Many people who cut themselves, do this in an attempt to try and release all the emotions they are feeling internally. Others may feel so numb, that seeing their own blood when they cut themselves, helps them to feel alive because they usually feel so dead inside. Some people find that dealing with physical pain is easier than dealing with emotional pain. Self-injury is also used as a way to punish oneself. If they were abused, they may feel ashamed, guilty and blame themselves for the abuse, which in turn causes them to feel the need to punish themselves by inflicting pain to their bodies. Some people have such hatred for themselves and their bodies that they will carve demeaning names on their bodies as a way to remind themselves of how terrible they are. Whatever form of self-injury is used, the person is usually left with a peaceful and calm feeling afterwards. Since those feelings are only temporary, the person will probably continue to self-injure until they deal with the underlying issues and finds healthier ways to cope.

If you feel the urge to injure yourself, below is a list of suggestions that might help you to overcome that urge. Please be advised that not all of these suggestions will be helpful to everyone. What is helpful to one person, may not be helpful to someone else. These suggestions have been provided by individuals who self injured and what they found helpful to them. If you feel that a certain suggestion may in fact cause you to want to self injure even more, do NOT use that suggestion. Find ones that are helpful for you. Again, these are only suggestions and may not be helpful to everyone.

deep breathing
relaxation techniques
call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line
try not be be alone (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.)
take a hot bath
listen to music
go for a walk
write in a journal
wear an elastic around wrist and snap it when you have the urge to harm yourself
some people find it helpful to draw red lines on themselves with washable markers instead of cutting themselves
hold ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some people find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment)
punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work).
scratch draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be another physical way to release your emotions without harming yourself.)
avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in CVS where the razor blades are kept, etc.)
try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions.
learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside
go outside and scream and yell
take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.)
work with paint, clay, play-doo, etc. (the person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some idea of what might be underlying the pain.
draw a picture of what or who is making you angry
instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect
go to church or your place of worship
wear a pipe cleaner or something that will fit on the places that you injure. One person did this as a way to remind herself that she could call someone instead of hurting herself and that she had other ways to cope.
break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it.
write a letter to the person(s) that have hurt you and express how they made you feel. Theses letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to please anyone but yourself. You do not have to give these letters to the people, but it is a great way to release the feelings that you are carrying within. After you write the letters, you can decide then what to do with them. Some people find destroying the letters help (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, etc.)
do some household chores (i.e. cleaning)
do some cooking
try some sewing, crossstitch, etc.
recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you multiple times
write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt
write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happenings - or find out what your triggers were
Play some kind of musical instrument. Even if you don't really know how to play, picking out tunes is a way to concentrate and help get rid of the urge to harm yourself.
yoga
allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self abuse. Picture your "ickies" pouring out as you cry.
Take a shower
write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humor or a smile in your life.
sing a song on what you are feeling. It's another way to get it outside. Shout if you are made, etc. Let the words just come to you.
Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It's a way to diffuse it on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don't tear.)
Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it"...the tangible aspect.
Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting. Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn't. Also remember to put on that list that you do not deserve to hurt yourself. You are important and special and you do not deserve to be hurt.

It is very difficult for people to admit to someone that they harm themselves because there is usually so much shame and guilt that goes along with it. It's important to try and remind yourself that there is no shame in what you are doing and that it's okay to reach out and ask for help. In order to help yourself overcome this, you need to want to stop the behavior and you need to find a therapist that you like and trust to help you deal with the underlying issues causing you to do this to yourself. Sometimes treatment may also involve the use of medications such as Xanax and Klonopin. Hypnosis and relaxation techniques can also be helpful, and in extreme cases, hospitalization might be required for a short period of time. If there are support groups in your area, you may want to think about joining them for extra support.

Many people who self-injure keep it a secret because they feel like they are crazy, insane and evil. They fear if they tell anyone, they might be locked away forever. The truth is, people who intentionally harm themselves are in fact very normal and sane people, who are in a lot of emotional pain. They self-injure as a way to cope, because they were probably never taught how to deal with intense feelings and emotions in healthy ways. Unfortunately, when people hear about this form of self-harm, they do tend to place labels on these people as being psychotic and crazy, which is why so many people do not come forward and ask for help. Until society dispels all the myths surrounding self-injury and start to educate themselves on this subject, sufferers will continue to keep quiet and this form of abuse will continue to be a secret for a long time to come.

2007-01-04T16:21:00.000+08:00

All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.
-- Samuel Butler

2006-12-31T15:06:00.000+08:00

Sun 31 Dec 2006

and so i was like kinda lost lately. so what? that makes me human. o yeah, there were sleepless nights, countless tears and unforgivable cursing! and whenever i see my mom cryin because she cant stand the fact that im hurtin'.. i cant help but blame myself. why can't i just hide this pain, why cant i just plant a beauty queen smile on my face and be the greatest pretender of all. people around me who cares for me deeply are hurtin seein me hurtin. and that def hurts.

there are ugly circumstances and sure itll cut deep. but one cant outrule them... you dont have control over it and that fact y'all have to accept. but you have control over your feelings. if you let these trouble affect you then that makes you a loser. and im talking about the big L right in yer forehead.

well.... as ive mentioned im a stop whining thats on top of my new years resolution. am no longer getting any younger, and i should quit whining like a lil kid deprived of a barbie doll from a toy store.

as i look back, 2006 aint that bad at all. ive met new people im my life. different aquaintances, diffrent faces, they all come and go. and who knows maybe a former enemy makes a good friend too. who knows? You see when you accept people in yer life and when you allow them them to be a part of you, then by chance you're givin' them the right to hurt you in million ways.. well, maybe thats the reason i only have few friends. i must admit i cant win any popularity contests. for i only have what? few friends? friends from high school, few ex officemates, some beach buds and some college friends. but what the heck i care less about having 'entourage' when i go clubbin or shoppin'.. what i need are true people... and these few friends of mine, have seen me in my worst but sticks around still... how sweet eh? life is sweet.. its all about positivity! know what im sayin'?

alright alright... im not gon bore you with non sense shit.... on the lighter side... ive watched the movie 'material girls' starring the duff sistahz... say what? what do i think of this movie?? great! NOT!

so, its like hours from now and we'll leave 2006 behind... hello 2007!
as in H to the ELLO! hello!

im excited.... excited to leave all the excess baggage behind.... o gawd!

2006-12-30T14:51:00.000+08:00

Sat 30 Dec 2006

i hate...
1. people talkin when im watchin tyra show.
2. freakin' scumbags
3. gossipers
4. worms
5. nights after every break up
6. failed relationships, wasted time and effort
7. treachery
8. mosquitoes
9. fake laughter, fake faces
10. annoyin' cab drivers
11. using public toilets
12. whenever i ran out of alcogel or alcohol in mah locker

im scared of...
1. sudden death
2. ageing

i heart..
1. butterfinger choc
2. yellow tulips
3. pink lilac nail color
4. stilettos
5. my digicam
6. clubbin'
7. italian food
8. tyra banks
9. margarita
10. boracay
11. dogs
12. damien rice
13. california maki
14. tokyo tokyo's Red ice tea
15. choco butternut
16. mermaids
17. fashion magazines
18. skinny jeans
19. dolphins
20. surprises!

songs i currently love...
1. goodbye my lover by james blunt
2. nakapagtataka by sponge cola
3. saturday night by suede
4. blowers daughter by damien rice
5. boulevard of broken dreams by green day

my fave...
1. color : purple and black
2. band: gnr
3. song stanza :
A.
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
-boluevard of broken dreams (green day)
B.
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
-blowers daughter (damien rice)
C.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
-my immortal ( evanescence)
4. movie line:
a. hello stranger. ( closer 2005 )
b. "What good would wings be
if you couldn't feel wind on your face?" ( city of angels 1996)
5. fruit: pear
6. scent: pear glaze victoria secret
7. cartoon character: betty boop
8. my canon digicam
5. solo artist : damien rice and james blunt ( as of the moment)

i have a collection of..
1. shoes
2. teddy bears
3. porcelain dolls

can't live home without my..
1. digicam
2. sunblock ( for the face )

can't face people without any..
1. waterproof mascara on ( i'm a cry baby that's why )
2. and a pink tint blush on
3. lip gloss

i'd love to travel / visit..
1. ROME

My guilty pleasure...
1. Chocolates

i feel sad for..
1. street children ( if i could only share my home with them )
2. ambushed politicians
3. misunderstood beings
4. fashion models who died/is suffering of/from anorexia
5. everytime i hear the song 'my immortal' by evanescence
6. lost friends due to circumstances

if i could only bring back the time, i'd..
1. ask for forgiveness from.. ( i actually have a list of names )
2. wanna be friends with all my ex
3. never would have let go of my college friends 'tropang obernayt'

if theres one thing i wish before the year ends...
1. see ely's baby and meet his wife

i wanna meet.. in person
1. tyra banks
2. nicolas cage

greatest new years resolution
1. stop whining

start the year right by...
1. confession

Greatest committed Sin
1. Vanity

2006-12-29T17:06:00.000+08:00

Fri 29 Dec 2006

a day with mom and dad...

i arranged an appointment at body tune spa in megamall for my folks. Aside from the bonding time and drinking sessions we usually do over the weekends, (o yeah i drink and get wasted with my parents, so eh? ) having to pamper them with their favorite massage is such a good thing to do. Feels like im the greatest daughter in the world everytime they give me a hug and utter the words 'thank you dahlin' .. wot? wot? wot?
i'm like a baby who still needs my parents appreciation. i like the fact that they check out on me in mah bedroom in the wee hour of the night evrytime they come home from work, tuck me in my comforter and make sure i had my a.c in just about right temp. hehe
yeh im 24 yet, i still wanna be babied. feels good though.

so where were we? o yeah... and so, i introduced them to my recent discovery... body tune spa...

Dad and i had to do some shoppin' first while mom hurried to meet her friends in shang-rila. Then we had dinner with mommy's amigas shortly after..
too bad my bro wasnt able to come for he had his exams that day, so he can't be absent. sigh*

click photo to view more pics. thanks.

dec

2006-12-25T17:16:00.000+08:00

The sweetest thing

2006-12-20T09:04:00.000+08:00

i'm sick, im tired... i'm all confused..

are yah gonna stick with me or not?

are you true or not?

or this is one hell of a deceit?

thought we're this tight..

i dunno am i still gonna hold on and say i'm fuckin' okay..

but words mean nothing for actions speak louder...

i'm a back off for awhile and see if the face you wear is thicker and lovelier than mine...

surround yourself with back ups, wear your armor

but im no fighter.. ill have all my guards down...

ill leave it all to you...

happiness may we both find,,

fake laughter and deception was fine...

but don't expect me to be there now...

im starting to realize this is not me... i am no toni....

i am toni banana.... just a pen name...

i stand before each of you.... with no face.

2006-12-17T19:46:00.000+08:00

Sun 17 Dec 2006

what oprah says about men:

1. if a man wants you nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't, nothing can make him stay.
2. never let him know everything, he will use it against you later.
3. he is a man, nothing more nothing less
4. you should never look for someone to complete you. a realtionship consists of two whole individuals
5. make him miss you sometimes. when a man always know where you are and know that you're readily availbale, he will take you for granted.

2006-12-17T17:12:00.000+08:00

i need a box of chocolate...

as the old saying goes...

'chocolates can mend a broken heart'....

2006-12-16T15:37:00.000+08:00

Nakapagtataka- Sponge cola

Walang tigil ang gulo sa aking
pag-iisip
Mula nang tayo'y nagpasyang
maghiwalay
Nagpaalam pagkat hindi tayo bagay
Nakapagtataka, oh.

***

Hindi ka ba napapagod,
o di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang
walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na ang mga luha,
damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala nang maibubuga,
wala na 'kong maramdaman.

***

Kung tunay tayong
nagmamahalan
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan?
Oh, oh.

2006-12-15T18:26:00.000+08:00

Fri 15 Dec 2006

with Ica, Chris, Rowald and the tree

haha...walang magawa eh... :) wink*

**
It was all clean fun gone wrong...

yesterday, chris pulled a prank on me. it was mean and it hurt. But he was sorry all along so i let it pass. Ica told me that chris confessed how sorry and scared he was with what happened. haha
may pasa tuloy ako, chris!... argh.

2006-12-14T17:52:00.000+08:00

Thurs 14 Dec 2006

Hit it, Nelly!

2006-12-12T18:31:00.000+08:00

Tue 12 Dec 2006

At 6750 Makati

I had a blast!

Oscar's

Pls click on the photo to view more pictures

2006-12-11T06:14:00.000+08:00

Mon 10 Dec 2006

Elisha Cuthbert

2006-12-07T07:54:00.000+08:00

Thurs 7 Dec 2006

araaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

grabe! sa sobrang haba ng kuko ko, naputol sya! at alam nyo ba na sobrang sakeeeeeeeeeeeet?! as in. tapos di pa sya tigil sa pagdugo. buti na lang may dala si Juve na first aid kit. so ayun naka band aid tuloy ang left thumb ko. huhu kainis nga eh, yun pa naman ang gamit ko pag nagte-text ako.

lahat nga ng nasa paligid ko narinig na may naputol na kuko. ako naman i didnt realize na naputol sya not until may naramdaman na akong masakit sa may left hand ko. tapos yun nga pag tingin ko sa thumb ko, may dumadaloy na-- na kulay red... 'yun dugo nga!

promise masakit tlga! kumikirooooot sya sobwa!

argh!

P.S. in tagalog words so that you guys can visualize it well.. haha

2006-12-06T06:53:00.000+08:00

Wed 6 Nov 2006

Read Martha's blog earlier today. She was ranting about how girls pile on too much make up but DOESN'T even know how to use the washroom properly. haha

well dahlin', that doesn't change the fact that boys are into pretty faces that they don't have balls to ASK them on what they do inside the ladies' and why they spend almost half of their lifetime inside it.

And i'm sure you're aware why some girls are into mastering the art of make up rather than to familiarize themselves on how to wipe their trunk using a toilet paper and to flush it out after.

eewww.

**
Last tuesday night, i met up with my bestfriend, Precious..
( at last! )
and heard the news first hand!
( thank God. )

She is 5 months pregnant!

And I was like,

'Why didn't you tell me right away? You've waited 5 freakin' LONG mos. to break the news on me?'

and she explained why in a remorse voice..

Girl, i feel you. Trials like these makes us human. It'll help us recognize the blessings we have in a different way. Sure life may creep on you real bad, but in the long run you'd be thankful to have experienced every tear drop, every pain, every suffering... but guesss what? The best part of it all is to be able to get up every after fall...

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.
- Corita Kent

2006-12-04T07:25:00.000+08:00

Mon 4 Dec 2006

I am not myself lately. its easy to be dropped off somewhere and then find a hard time trying to pick up yourself from pieces. darn.

dustin' myself off *

on a much lighter side, im trying to grow my hair now ( and my nails too! ) . well, i must admit there were days when i'm really tempted to cut it off.. those dreaded days. But what the heck! I dont care if there'd be stubborn hair days all i want is to see it longer than usual so i can style it in different ways...

last saturday i partied with some of JC's friends at I.O Jupiter Makati. It was a hell of a purteeh!
overflowing margarita and bloody mary baybeee! SPELL a-w-e-s-o-m-e! ( pictures soon )

*air clappin'

So earlier that saturday eve, just before that i.o party, i was in Eastwood to meet up Bette and her boyfriend, James. We had dinner at Teriyaki Boy and took some pictures of ourselves.. Bette will be off to Taiwan few days from now. So that was the meeting all about eh? I miss this gurl. I miss the good times back at our old company.
Bette is sure one of the few transparent people ive ever come acrossed with. A keeper.
Love yah bette... and James, i am so happy to see the fire of love bind you two.

Oreo, my dog. he's just the cutest thing following me around the house. la lang. sumagi lang sa isip ko. hehe

as i type these words i'm listening to anton's ipod, well to anton's music that is. He handed it over to me, from out of the blue as i passed by his station and said,

'Hey wanna listen to some weird music? Here.'

'sure.'

The other day i was messing around with Juve's player and know what it's good to snoop around other people's player and see what type of music these people are into and eventually learn even a bit of their personalities by just merely.. guess what?.. listening.

sometimes you dont have to listen to all the stories people has to say about themselves. For some of them wears masks you can't even tell. Some are drama queen, prima donna some are impostors, copy cat and so fort. Sure there are nice people around.. but at times these nice people can turn themselves into their own evil selves and it 'll be too late for you to learn and say,

'oh did i just fall for that?'

daym it.

oppssiee wait..
lemme share Ica's text message to me just before i catch some shut eye last night..

"All you have to do in life is go out with your friends, party hard, and look twice as good as the bitch standin' next to you." - Paris Hilton

haha. Funny.

2006-11-30T03:36:00.000+08:00

Spell Irony

Britney 'pan*y-less' Spears parties with Paris 'hoe' Hilton

waaaaaaah! what is happening to the world?!

2006-11-30T02:37:00.000+08:00

Thurs 30 Nov 2006

A revelation from two of my bestfriends

she sent me an sms around 8am sayin she really have to meet up with me ASAP. I wonder why? It wasn't like her to schedule a 'meeting' at the instanticity. You see, bago 'nun b-day party ko sa house nitong July lang, 5 long years kme di nagkita! Would you believe that? heh. So as i was saying, Precious is one of my old school buddies, my old fart, my confidante. So seeing her thrills me because we're not used to seeing each other with NO REASON or OCCASION at all. So there's somethin' REALLY cookin'...

the conversation was more or like:

Precious: "Hey i gotta meet you this noon. I have something to tell you!"

Toni: "Ummm we can talk about it now"

Precious: "No way! It's not okay to talk about it over the phone. It's very personal"

Toni: "What is it? Like are you gonna be married or something?"

DEAD SILENCE

so to cut the story short, we weren't able to meet up because she had to attend to somethin' really urgent last night. Thank you, Cious ha you got me so bitin! :) See you Saturday! Mwahh.

**

My friend Ice,

i am so happy that at last you've found yourself a man, your first boyfriend..after 24 long years... i gotta meet the lucky man SOON... schedule that double date, ayt?

2006-11-29T06:59:00.000+08:00

Grab the tiger by the tail and you've got
T-R-O-U-B-L-E...

2006-11-25T16:36:00.000+08:00

Sat 25 Nov 2006